The Dumpster Fire Entrepreneur

Posted on August 10, 2025 by anentrepreneurswords

Dumpster fires are tricky devils. They usually start out as nothing. Just a bunch of trash sitting in a big metal bin . . . and then someone flicks a cigarette butt or empties hot coals from a grill and the smoldering starts. Who knows what is really inside the container? It could be aerosol cans, used motor oil, acetone, automotive batteries, paint thinner and a host of other accelerants. After smoldering for a while, the fire gets hotter and hotter until it becomes a raging inferno. If the dumpster is too close to a building, the entire structure could ignite and burn to the ground. Discovered early enough, a simple fire extinguisher could put out the blaze in a matter of seconds. But once it is out of control the fire department may have a battle on its hands for hours.

There is an obvious parallel between dumpster fires and the minor irritating problems that entrepreneurs encounter every day. We all experience situations that we tend to ignore. Perhaps there is a petty conflict between two members of our team. Maybe it is a nagging customer service issue or a piece of equipment in the plant that is not functioning properly. We know the problem is there, but we simply choose not to address it wishing and hoping that it will just go away. After all, we have bigger crises to deal with. Right?

But we all know what eventually happens. The conflict between team members blows up big time and someone quits or is fired. Other team members are dragged into the drama which impacts productivity and damages our culture. The customer service issue results in the loss of a customer and perhaps a nasty post in the social media world hurting our brand in a much broader way. Now we are in damage control mode involving multiple members of our team who are trying to restore our reputation. And that piece of equipment in the plant that was not functioning properly? It finally breaks completely, shutting down the entire production line in the process. Oh, and one of our team members was injured when the machine finally died.

Each of these situations began as a small smoldering dumpster fire. Immediate attention (the fire extinguisher) would have resulted in a solution that put out the fire. The wider range of consequences of inaction would have been avoided. This leads us to conclude that we need to look for small problems every day and intentionally take the necessary steps to fix them. I know that I have small festering issues that need my attention. But sometimes I just do not want to face them right now. So, I give myself a 24-hour pass and make sure they pop up the next day on my task list. I have learned that it takes discipline to handle the small stuff or else I will eventually have to spend a whole lot more time and money untangling things later. I have found that the 24-hour pass approach works well for me. And I may even find myself thinking about what the solution will be before the end of my self-imposed deadline. Unfortunately, there is no other trick to it other than “just do it.”

Small seemingly inconsequential problems can explode into dumpster fires that consume our lives. It is better to take small incremental steps to solve the problems as they arise and then we will not have to call the fire department because our house is burning down.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

The Triangulating Entrepreneur

Posted on April 28, 2024 by anentrepreneurswords

Allow me to set the stage. Don, Shirley, Frank, and Jessie all work for the same company. They are peers and interact daily. Let’s pull back the curtain momentarily and observe what is happening.

Shirley has stopped Frank in the hall. They have an exchange that goes like this.

Shirley: “Frank, you won’t believe what Don did. I’m so frustrated with him! He was supposed to prepare graphs for the PowerPoint slides to insert into the Magruder presentation and he totally blew it off. How are we going to get these graphs?”

Frank: “Wow, Shirley! It’s incredible that he didn’t hold up his end of the bargain. You know, he’s done that before. What a bozo!”

Later, Frank runs into Jessie and their conversation went like this.

Frank: “Jessie – Shirley told me that Don completely booted the graphs for the Magruder presentation. She’s about to blow a gasket. I wonder if Don should even be on our team.”

Jessie: “That’s awful! Don seems to have a history of doing things like this. He’s being extremely selfish and doesn’t care about anyone but himself.”

What is happening here? I call it The Bermuda Triangulation Effect. The Bermuda Triangle is a region covering roughly 500,000 square miles in the Atlantic Ocean where ships and aircraft have seemingly vanished without a trace. In other words, it’s akin to a mysterious black hole, sucking in the unsuspecting. Unfortunately, there’s no mystery to The Bermuda Triangulation Effect. Triangulation is a no man’s land where different parties whine, moan, and groan about another party without speaking directly with that party. In our example Frank, Shirley and Jessie are triangulating about Don and the problems he has caused. Yet, no one bothered to talk to Don about the issue.

Triangulation is bad for business and bad for relationships. It’s pure poison and can dramatically and adversely impact the chemistry of a team. Why does all this grousing happen among teammates in the first place? I believe that it’s indicative of a team that does not hold mutual respect as a cornerstone. Team members also don’t trust each other to the point that they can have conversations directly with the party who is causing issues. I’ve heard many people explain that they feel like such a conversation could be confrontational and they want to avoid conflict.

Here’s the truth. Entrepreneurial leaders must take all steps necessary to eliminate triangulation. This starts with identifying clear roles and accountabilities for each team member. And everyone must clearly understand how they are accountable to each other. This accountability should include a process for addressing issues and concerns that are encountered from time-to-time. Team members should understand that it is incumbent upon them to speak directly with another team member should a challenge arise with that individual. Discussions among peers should be taboo as they are counterproductive and accomplish absolutely nothing. And team members should be discouraged from trying to resolve their issues via e-mail. E-mail is a one-dimensional form of communication and is one of the worst ways to try and sort out problems within a team.

Team members should be educated on how to speak directly with another team member in what might be perceived as an uncomfortable situation. Had our fictitious team been properly educated, the following exchange might have occurred with Shirley going to Don directly.

Shirley: “Don – I was looking for the graphs that you were preparing and found that they weren’t in shared folder. I need to drop them in PowerPoint for the Magruder presentation. When do you think you’ll have them ready?”

Don: “Shirley – “I’m so sorry. I spent the night in the emergency room with my daughter and couldn’t finish them like I promised. I’ve been working on them and will have them completed in about 30 minutes.”

Shirley: “I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter. I hope she’s OK. If you need any help, just let me know.”

No triangulation occurred. The team continued to move forward to achieve its goals. Feelings weren’t hurt and time wasn’t wasted with angry chatter.

As entrepreneurs we must endeavor to create a culture of mutual respect where team members are totally comfortable having conversations of all sorts with each other. Stamping out triangulation should be a priority to this end.

The 10-Count Entrepreneur

Posted on November 26, 2023 by anentrepreneurswords

There’s sure a lot of noise in the world these days. Unfortunately, much of the noise is angry. Social media eruptions occur continuously. People attack each other as human beings – maybe more so that they argue ideas with which they disagree. X (née Twitter), Facebook, e-mails, and text messages can be toxic and dripping with vitriol. And once a meme goes viral the crowd frenzy snowballs with everyone piling on. It’s no wonder that stress levels are high, and unhappiness has reached similar proportions. This is a dangerous environment for entrepreneurs (and everyone else for that matter).

I find it interesting that when those who yell the loudest find themselves in a room, one-on-one with someone who is their target, their demeanor changes. Suddenly there is a living and breathing individual – much like themselves – sitting across the table in a face-to-face setting. For some reason, bellicosity and histrionics melt away. One-on-one, civility emerges, and a rational conversation may occur. I call this the “talking tough behind the locked screen door” syndrome. Many people seem to be less inhibited when they aren’t having to personally interact with the individual with whom they disagree. They are easily triggered and react instantly and in an amplified manner. The one-dimensional aspect of communicating in a written format seems to be emboldening. Add the mob mentality to the equation and it quickly becomes a powder keg that could explode (and often does) without any notice.

As a youngster growing up my mother had a simple technique for dealing with anger. I’ll bet your mother used the same technique. When I got spun up about something and was ready to lash out, she would say, “Lee, count slowly to ten.” Most of the time it worked. By the time I reached ten, my frustration had defused somewhat, and I was becoming calmer and more rational. My mom was a genius back in the day! Either mothers today aren’t teaching the 10-Count Rule, or it’s been forgotten.

As an entrepreneur here’s something I’ve learned. I don’t enter any discussion on social media that could become contentious. There’s nothing whatsoever to be gained and I’m not going to change anyone’s mind utilizing this format. I also have learned not to engage via e-mail in subject matter that could result in conflict. Think about it. We receive an e-mail – perhaps from an external source – that we may perceive as accusatory. Our immediate impulse may be to fire off a response that is defensive and lob a few grenades in the other direction as well. We are indignant that someone attacked us in an e-mail, and we are going to fight back and “win” the argument with our prose. But does this really work? Are we changing minds or are we simply contributing to the entrenchment of each other’s positions?

The minute I smell conflict in a written communication, I typically short-circuit it with a face-to-face conversation (most preferable); a video call (next most preferable) or a phone call (least preferable). I like to be physically present for the ensuing conversation so that I can “read” the other person and show authentic empathy. I’m not interested in fighting but seeking resolution. I’m not interested in escalation but seek common ground. We still may disagree, but we can do so respectfully and avoid hard feelings.

Even in face-to-face situations there may still be times when tempers flare and personal accusations boil over. This is a perfect time for Mom’s 10-Count Rule. I prefer to let the other person finish their rant and then become still and quiet for a moment (counting to at least 10 in my head). I may say something like, “I hear your frustration and think I understand where we disagree.” But I’m not about to engage in emotional dialogue and will likely ignore the personal attacks. I will speak in a quiet and deliberate voice and review the facts of the situation. Ultimately, we may agree to disagree, but at least I have avoided belittling the other person and making them feel even worse. Some may think that this is manipulation. I think it’s simply the concept of “it takes two to tango,” and I’m not going to be one of the two.

The 10-Count Rule isn’t about knocking the other person out of the argument. Instead, it’s about maintaining our composure and self-control to dial back confrontation to reach an acceptable resolution for all parties.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

The Uncomfortable Entrepreneur

Posted on November 12, 2023 by anentrepreneurswords

It’s a fact of life that there will be times when we must communicate with someone else about something that may make both parties uncomfortable. Yes, we all will have many difficult conversations over the course of our lives – personally and professionally. And while no one looks forward to such conversations, it is important that they not be avoided. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve seen situations where two people just need to have that hard conversation to get back on the same page. Instead, they avoid each other entirely for a while. Then if by happenstance they are thrown together, there are awkward moments galore. I’ve seen friendships end and business partnerships blow up, simply because two people can’t come to grips with the fact that they need to clear the air and “talk it out.”

Why are these conversations so hard to have in the first place? Often it evolves from one of three places. First, we may perceive the encounter to be one where conflict will be present, and we are highly allergic to conflict. Second, we may have let ourselves be hurt and just can’t stand the thought of interacting with the person who allegedly hurt us. Or third, we may be concerned that our conversation with the other person may be hurtful to them, and we don’t want to be the one to play that role. So, we suffer in silence . . . or maybe not. Rather than addressing the issue with the other person, we may tend to talk to everyone else about the situation – friends, family, colleagues – often wringing our hands in despair and playing the tape(s) over and over for them. Here’s the bottom-line question. Did taking this tack make us feel any better? Probably not. Did it solve the problem? Definitely not. Were others around us unnecessarily drawn into the negativity of the situation. Almost always.

Refraining from having an honest conversation about a difficult matter does a disservice to our relationships. Now assume that we have finally decided to address the issue. Let’s talk about the rules of engagement. Should we have these conversations one-on-one, or should a third party be present? While there are exceptions to the rule, I think we need to have the guts to deal directly with the other person. While it may help our courage to have a wingman, the person with whom we are trying to resolve an issue may not feel comfortable putting all his or her cards on the table. Do we have the conversation in private, or do it in a public place? I’ve witnessed situations where one person wants to meet with the other in a restaurant “to avoid a meltdown.” This could be perceived by the other party as being manipulative and further strains the relationship. I’m always in favor of meeting in private and behind closed doors if possible.

Our body language is critical to the success of the encounter. We should be as open and relaxed as we possibly can. Sitting with our body turned away from the other person and our arms folded doesn’t send the message that we want to resolve anything. Keeping palms open, smiling, and making eye contact will help put the other person at ease. How direct do we want the conversation to be? In my book, directness is fine, but we need to use warm candor instead of brutal honesty. We don’t need to sugarcoat our dialogue, but we must be sensitive to the other person’s feelings. If we’re there to score points and prove that we are right and they are wrong, then by all means, rub their nose in it. But if we really want resolution, we are gentle with our words while still making certain that there is no ambiguity in what we are saying.

I’ve also found that sticking to the facts is good practice. That said, we must remember that the reason the conversation may be difficult in the first place could be due to emotions that ran amuck. Thus, we need to have empathy for the emotional factor but keep the discussion in the logical realm. And sometimes, rehashing the disagreement isn’t necessarily productive – it may be best to just apologize and move on (if an apology is warranted).

Difficult conversations are necessary and will generally be successful by adhering to this simple principle. I will treat the other person the same way I want to be treated.

The Non-Consensus Building Entrepreneur

Posted on June 25, 2023 by anentrepreneurswords

Here’s a common scenario that is played out every day in conference rooms across the country. Devin is an entrepreneur who has assembled an executive team that consists of the COO, CFO, CTO, VP of Sales and Marketing, and VP of Product Development. The group meets weekly, and the discussions are relatively polite and collegial. Devin works hard to avoid conflict and encourages the group to reach a consensus for decisions that need to be made. He believes that this approach has helped build a strong and positive culture for his organization. Unfortunately, Devin is totally wrong!

There is a time and a place for consensus building, but it’s not right in Devin’s scenario. Instead, what Devin should be seeking is a healthy and robust debate where different arguments are vigorously presented. Then, once everything is on the table and all the questions have been answered, Devin needs to decide. It’s up to him to decide what course of action will be taken. Too often, entrepreneurs are overly concerned about “keeping the peace” among team members. They are allergic to anything that might be perceived as “conflict.”

The problem with encouraging consensus building is that it also encourages a tendency to go along to get along. Author and management consultant Patrick Lencioni calls this “artificial harmony.” A strong organization needs a wide and diverse range of ideas to move forward. The first step is to discard the notion that conflict and disagreement are bad things. I believe that conflict and disagreement can be uplifting and beneficial – IF handled properly. For this to happen, team members must trust each other completely. This means trusting that what is said will remain confidential when required. This means trusting that no one is going to engage in personal attacks. It means trusting that backstabbing and triangulation are out of the question. It’s important to understand that establishing trust won’t happen overnight. It can take weeks or even months for full trust to develop.

Once trust has eventually been established, the leader must set the ground rules for engagement. This likely means that a protocol will be created for exchanging ideas. It likely means that all members of the team will be expected to contribute and participate. It means that debate and disagreement will be encouraged. And it means that everyone agrees to buy-in to the process.

So how does productive debate and disagreement occur? Each member of the team should present his or her arguments based on the facts. The entrepreneur should allow for a free-flowing discussion but be prepared to call foul if the discussion veers off course into the area of personal conflict. Strong-willed team members should be encouraged to make an impassioned case for their positions. All team members should listen without interruption. These discussions may be intense – that’s OK if participants do not feel as though they are being personally attacked or their ideas denigrated. The lack of intensity during this process could be a signal that “artificial harmony” exists.

When the conversation has concluded, the entrepreneur must step up and show real leadership. This means processing the various facts that have been presented and deciding accordingly. Sometimes these decisions are extremely difficult – and that’s a very good thing. It means that the debate was compelling and strong arguments were made all the way around. It’s possible that the discussion will result in the need for additional information. But eventually when all the facts are in and all the points have been made, a final decision must be made. Ceding such a decision to a “committee” for consensus is not a display of leadership. The entrepreneur must explain the rationale behind the final decision and make certain that everyone feels that what they offered was sufficiently considered. Ultimately, everyone on the team must get on board and fully support the final decision. That doesn’t mean they have to fully agree with it – but they must be totally supportive. If a team member is not supportive, considerable damage can be done to the culture and to the process for making future decisions.

Great entrepreneurial leaders know how to foster healthy debate among team members and then make the final decision. A great team does not need to function with consensus but does need to respect and support the final decision.

Messy Entrepreneurship

Posted on April 11, 2021 by anentrepreneurswords

Years ago, I remember watching with great interest when my then-2½ year-old grandson and his then-11-month-old sister explored their relatively new lives. Building an entrepreneurial business is a lot like raising a child. There is a tremendous amount of nurturing required. Let us look at the parallels.

My grandson was prone to tantrums which come with the territory during the terrible twos. Usually this happened because he was frustrated or did not get his way. In a growing business we can feel extreme frustration when things do not go our way. We may tend to take out our frustration on others in the form of an adult tantrum – possibly we say or do things that are less than kind. I also noticed what happened when baby sister picked up one of his toys. Now, this may have been a toy that he had not touched for weeks, but if she latched onto it, he suddenly wanted and needed it right then and there. He would push her, and she would push him back – and trust me, she was a strong little cuss! In our entrepreneurial endeavors we may regularly experience conflict with others who see things differently. As with children it sometimes seems like all we do is attempt to resolve such conflicts.

Do you want to talk about hyperactivity? I am an expert on this subject. When you look up the word in the dictionary, my grandson’s picture is there. He and his sister have both been afflicted with this tendency all their lives. They are all over the place all the time. When he was younger, he would put together a couple pieces of a puzzle, then zip over and ride his tricycle, then run upstairs and bang on his drum set (a hand-me-down from his older cousin who received it from yours truly – kind of a Karma thing). Baby sister was motoring around and climbing on everything during every single waking moment. Think about the entrepreneurial environment. It is hectic. The pace is frenetic, and we are constantly putting out fires and incubating new ideas – all at the same time. The downside of course, can be a lack of focus and a failure to complete tasks and projects.

Kids make ginormous messes. When I visit at my daughter’s house, I am always struck by all the “stuff” that is strewn about even though they are no longer toddlers. At our home I watch these kids drag things out of the toy box and leave them in their wake as they move on to the next “thing.” Fortunately, we have fewer “stuff” items at our home, but there is no question that the little munchkins can pull everything out and cover the floor in a matter of seconds. And when it comes to eating, that is a whole other story. There is no other way to put it – it looks like a daily occurrence of an Animal House food fight. There’s oatmeal on the floor, eggs on the walls and cheese stuck to the ceiling! Our businesses may look the same way. Building an entrepreneurial organization is a messy proposition. Things break. The prototype product we created is not the sleek game-changer we had anticipated. Systems and processes are half-completed and sometimes customers are less than pleased.

For all the trials and tribulations of raising children, there are many rewarding moments. Watching my grandson take his first few steps and become more confident every day thereafter was pretty cool. Listening to a 2½ year-old sing the “ABC Song” perfectly was a proud moment. Seeing the smiles and hearing them lovingly call me “Poppa” melts my heart. I guess it is true what they say about grandkids being the reward we receive for not killing our children. Likewise, our hearts sing when things come together, and we take three steps forward as entrepreneurs. Oh sure, there will be two-step-backward days as well, but the net effect is positive. How do we make sure that the rewards are always there? Like parents, we remain committed to building our business just like we are committed to raising our kids. We learn how to be patient. We learn how to be positive. And we learn how to celebrate the victories along the way.

When we grow an entrepreneurial business, we know there is going to be oatmeal on the floor. But if we are committed, patient, positive and celebrate success, eventually our baby will grow up and make us very proud.

The “No Assholes Allowed” Entrepreneur

Posted on August 9, 2020 by anentrepreneurswords

Life is full of contrasts which span our personal and professional lives. Happy and sad. Victory and defeat. Sunny and rainy. Dogs and cats. Assholes and angels. Wait a minute – assholes and angels! What the heck?

As humans we have a lot of issues. Sometimes we are able to deal with these issues and at other times we are not. When we are successful in meeting our challenges, we tend to be more measured and pleasant. But when these challenges become seemingly insurmountable brick walls there is a chance that our personality changes – and not for the better. Feelings of insecurity and inferiority may manifest through biting and snide remarks, ugly facial expressions, or downright hostility.

A guy walks into McDonald’s and orders lunch. He just was chewed out by a client and he is not a happy camper. The person taking his order is a little slow or distracted and he snaps, “Your service is terrible.” Obviously, he is well on his way to winning friends and influencing people. Angelic behavior? Probably just the opposite. Little encounters like this happen all the time. Unfortunately, when unchecked, a pattern develops where lashing out in this manner can become a habit.

In an entrepreneurial organization rudeness and disrespect cause a great deal of tension. It produces negative energy, creates conflict, and can destroy the chemistry of a team. Leaders who ignore it are giving implicit approval of the perpetrators. It is one thing for there to be disagreements between team members. This can be a healthy process toward a successful result. But when the disagreements turn uncivil and personal the healthy part of the process has come to an end.

I have a pretty high tolerance factor for dissent. I encourage my colleagues to offer different opinions and ideas. And I don’t mind a lively discussion that stimulates new ways of thinking. However, I have been told that there are times when others begin to feel uncomfortable because of the intensity of some conversations. The line may have been crossed where the comments have become too biting and even personal. So, I am learning how to interrupt such situations and nip them in the bud before they digress into the world of the unproductive.

This all easily translates into one very simple premise. There is no place for a$$holes – anywhere in life. When unacceptable behavior is observed it needs to be stopped immediately. If there are several team members present it may be best to take a break in the meeting and consult with the offender in a one-on-one manner. There is nothing gained by embarrassing an individual publicly. Everyone has a bad day once in a while and a kind and empathetic word may be all that is necessary to diffuse a brewing tempest and prevent it from escalating.

It is much more troublesome when a member of the team has become a chronic asshole. Such a person may walk around with a permanent scowl on his or her face. Colleagues may go out of their way to avoid this individual. No one looks forward to meetings that include him or her, and encounters with this person often end with feelings of hurt, anger or humiliation. Chronic assholes must be dealt with swiftly and firmly. As soon as it becomes apparent that this person has chronic issues, he or she must be advised that his/her behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. When this person is a high performer it makes dealing with him/her that much more difficult. But for the sake of the team action must be taken including removal from the team as a last resort.

Life (and business) is tough enough without having to contend with assholes. Dispensing with such behavior as soon as possible will help restore the equilibrium of a team.

Difficult Conversations

Posted on April 14, 2019 by anentrepreneurswords

Why are these conversations so hard to have in the first place? Often it evolves from one of three places. First, we may perceive the encounter to be one where conflict will be present, and we are highly allergic to conflict. Second, we may have let ourselves be hurt and just can’t stand the thought of interacting with the person who allegedly hurt us. Or third, we may be concerned that our conversation with the other person may be hurtful to them and we don’t want to be the one to play that role. So, we suffer in silence . . . or maybe not. Rather than addressing the issue with the other person, we may have a tendency to talk to everyone else about the situation – friends, family, colleagues – often wringing our hands in despair and playing the tape(s) over and over for them. Here’s the bottom-line question. Did taking this tack make us feel any better? Probably not. Did it solve the problem? Definitely not. Were others around us unnecessarily drawn into the negativity of the situation. Almost always.

Refraining from having an honest conversation about a difficult matter does a disservice to our relationships. Now assume that we have finally decided to address the issue. Let’s talk rules of engagement. Should we have these conversations one-on-one or should a third-party be present? While there are exceptions to the rule, I think we need to have the guts to deal directly with the other person. While it may help our courage to have a wingman, the person with whom we are trying to resolve an issue may not feel comfortable putting all his or her cards on the table. Do we have the conversation in private, or do it in a public place? I’ve witnessed situations where one person wants to meet with the other in a restaurant “to avoid a meltdown.” This could be perceived by the other party as being manipulative and further strains the relationship. I’m always in favor of meeting in private and behind closed doors if possible.

Our body language is critical to the success of the encounter. We should be as open and relaxed as we possibly can. Sitting with our body turned away from the other person and our arms folded doesn’t send the message that we want to resolve anything. Keeping palms open, smiling and making eye contact will help put the other person at ease. How direct do we want the conversation to be? In my book, directness is fine, but we need to use warm candor instead of brutal honesty. We don’t need to sugarcoat our dialogue, but we must be sensitive to the other person’s feelings. If we’re there to score points and prove that we are right and they are wrong, then by all means, rub their nose in it. But if we really want resolution, we are gentle with our words while still making certain that there is no ambiguity in what we are saying.

I’ve also found that sticking to the facts is a good practice. That said, we must remember that the reason the conversation may be difficult in the first place could be due to emotions that ran amuck. Thus, we need to have empathy for the emotional factor but keep the discussion in the logical realm. And sometimes, rehashing the disagreement isn’t necessarily productive – it may be best to just apologize and move on (if an apology is warranted).

Difficult conversations are necessary and will generally be successful by adhering to this simple principle. I will treat the other person the same way I want to be treated.

The Bermuda Triangulation Effect

Posted on October 16, 2016 by anentrepreneurswords

Allow me to set the stage. Don, Shirley, Frank and Jessie all work for the same company. They are peers and interact on a daily basis. Let’s pull back the curtain momentarily and observe what is happening.

Shirley has stopped Frank in the hall. They have an exchange that goes like this.

Frank: “Wow, Shirley! It’s incredible that he didn’t hold up his end of the bargain. You know, he’s done that before. What a bozo!”

Later, Frank runs into Jessie and their conversation went like this.

Frank: “Jessie – Shirley told me that Don completely booted the graphs for the Magruder presentation. She’s about to blow a gasket. I wonder if Don should even be on our team.”

Jessie: “That’s awful! Don seems to have a history of doing things like this. He’s being extremely selfish and doesn’t care about anyone but himself.”

What is happening here? I call it The Bermuda Triangulation Effect. The Bermuda Triangle is a region covering roughly 500,000 square miles in the Atlantic Ocean where ships and aircraft have seemingly vanished without a trace. In other words, it’s akin to a mysterious black hole, sucking in the unsuspecting. Unfortunately there’s no mystery to The Bermuda Triangulation Effect. Triangulation is a no man’s land where different parties whine, moan and groan about another party without speaking directly with that party. In our example Frank, Shirley and Jessie are triangulating about Don and the problems he has caused. Yet, no one bothered to talk to Don about the issue.

Triangulation is bad for business and bad for relationships. It’s pure poison and can dramatically and adversely impact the chemistry of a team. Why does all of this grousing happen among teammates in the first place? I believe that it’s indicative of a team that does not hold mutual respect as a cornerstone. Team members also don’t trust each other to the point that they can have conversations directly with the party who is causing issues. I’ve heard many people explain that they feel like such a conversation could be confrontational and they want to avoid conflict.

Shirley: “Don – I was looking for the graphs that you were preparing and found that they weren’t in shared folder. I need to drop them in the PowerPoint for the Magruder presentation. When do you think you’ll have them ready?”

Don: “Shirley – “I’m so sorry. I spent the night in the emergency room with my daughter and wasn’t able to finish them like I promised. I’ve been working on them and will have them completed in about 30 minutes.”

Shirley: “I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter. I hope she’s OK. If you need any help, just let me know.”

No triangulation occurred. The team continued to move forward to achieve its goals. Feelings weren’t hurt and time wasn’t wasted with angry chatter.

You can also listen to a weekly audio podcast of my blog. What you hear will be different than what you read in this blog. Subscribe on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also click on this link – Audio Episode 14 – Obstacle Proof.

The LFT Problem

Posted on September 18, 2016 by anentrepreneurswords

I knew a person who always seemed to have a black cloud following over his head. He encountered some of the most bizarre situations I’ve ever known. His drive to work regularly was a harrowing experience. I’d hear tales of near-death situations involving rogue drivers forcing him off the road. Then there was the incident at the sporting goods store. He tried to return an item he purchased and got into a massive fight with the store that involved an ongoing string of e-mails and phone calls. Finally he always seemed to be feuding with a friend. The reasons were so banal that I never figured out what was really the problem.

At one point I dug in a little deeper to try and understand why this individual was always struggling so much. And guess what I found? He had an LFT problem. If you haven’t figured it out by now, LFT means Looking for Trouble. He was continually loaded for bear and saw a conspiracy against him every time he turned around. Turns out he was a pretty aggressive driver (I rode with him once and he scared the bejabbers out of me). He could be very demanding so I imagine that in a retail store he might have been inclined to run roughshod over the sales clerk. He told me that his motto was to “expect the unexpected” and be ready to “play offense.”

Going through life with an LFT mindset must be pretty depressing. And it’s an attitude that’s pure poison for entrepreneurs. I can see preparing for the unexpected, but intentionally expecting something bad to happen seems like it could become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I truly believe that if we see conflict and strife in every situation then that’s how we’ll live. Those types of thoughts are like a magnet.

I can count on two or three fingers the number of times I’ve had close calls in my car. I know I’m pretty vigilant when it comes to driving and while alert, I’m not “waiting for the other shoe to drop.” In other words, I don’t believe that there is someone out there looking to make my driving experience a miserable one. As an entrepreneur I’m well aware of the fact that there may be others who are looking to gain an unfair advantage. But I don’t obsess on this awareness. Instead, I go into each situation with the belief that the person across the table from me is going to deal honorably and I know that we’ll find a mutually acceptable conclusion to our interaction.

Life is so much better when we are in an LFG mode. LFG? Looking for Good. Don’t be fooled by this approach. It’s not naïve or Pollyanna-ish. LFG is relatively simple. We look for the good in every experience and with every person. This type of thought is also like a magnet. When we Look for Trouble we find it. When we Look for Good . . . we find it! It doesn’t mean that I’m going to walk down a dark alley in a big city and flash a big roll of Franklins! After all I’m not bulletproof. But it does mean that until someone proves me wrong, I’m going to choose to see a positive outcome in whatever I’m doing.

The entrepreneur who wakes up in the morning with a siege mentality and wonders who or what is going to come at him today, is in trouble before his feet hit the floor. By contrast, the entrepreneur who wakes up and knows that today is going to be positive and productive has just set the stage for a great day. Oh sure, there will be challenges because that’s just life. But the challenges are so much easier to resolve when we don’t have a nagging belief that there’s someone hiding around the corner ready to whack us in the kneecap.

So which will it be – LFT or LFG? The choice is 100% ours to make. There is no conspiracy. And there is no “other shoe” about to drop.

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