Nice to Be With You

In 1972 an American soft rock band called Gallery recorded the song, “Nice to Be With You.” I’ve always liked that song and believe it could reflect the personality of successful entrepreneurs. Think about all the people in your life and who you like most to be around. Is that person always complaining and negative? Or, is he/she upbeat and positive? A Harris Poll reported in 2013 that only one in three Americans were very happy. Obviously there’s a lot of progress to be made. We entrepreneurs can lead the way.

Entrepreneurs often get a bad rap. They are portrayed in the media and the movies as cold, heartless, ruthless and conniving. Certain politicians may characterize entrepreneurs as money-hungry and corrupt. We need to change this narrative and can do so every time we interact with someone else. How? I submit that when we’re nice to be around we can easily dispel the myths and stereotypes about entrepreneurs.

Now if you are rolling your eyes right now think about a single word . . . trust. Who do you trust more – a genuinely happy and friendly person, or someone who is sour and inconsiderate? I haven’t done a scientific survey on this question but informally asked a number of my friends and colleagues. It was nearly unanimous in favor of trusting someone who is nice. Our success is built on others trusting us, our team, our products and our services. Why wouldn’t we want to stack the deck in our favor?

Let’s take stock and see what we can do to ensure that others see us as nice to be around. I used a word in the last paragraph that is of critical importance, and that word is genuine. If we contrive our niceness it will be apparent and will cause others to think we’re slick and manipulative. We must be real about who we are and develop the traits and tendencies of a happy person.

Here are some ideas that can endear us to others:

  1. We think of others first. When we can make someone else feel valued and appreciated, their happiness quotient increases exponentially. In a restaurant when the service is great, I like to look the server in the eye, call them by name, smile and tell them what a great job they are doing. And the enormous grin (and sometimes tears) I get in return absolutely makes my day. Taking a servant’s attitude – where I’m here to help and serve you – helps me avoid the feelings of entitlement that afflict some successful entrepreneurs.
  2. Be an optimist and positive. No matter what happens I see no point in wallowing around in despair and negativity. It’s like being in quicksand – no one wants to get in it with us! We want to attract people with whom we can build trust and relationships. That’s much easier to do when we are giving off good vibes rather than being a Gloomy Gus.
  3. Avoid the limelight. Have you ever known someone who does nothing but talk about herself/himself? I’ve been to more than a few cocktail parties where I’ve been cornered by these individuals. And I’m reminded how much I don’t want to be like them. In fact, I prefer to ask questions about other people and what they do more than I care to talk about myself. It’s not that I have anything to hide. I guess it’s just that I was taught as a child that the world doesn’t revolve around me.

When we are genuinely a nice person the odds increase for building a trusting relationship. We can make this happen by thinking of others first; being optimistic and positive, and avoiding the limelight.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

gallery band

The Kelly Factor

My wife and I ate dinner at an old 1960s vintage diner while on vacation recently. Our server was Kelly and she was absolutely terrific. In fact I told her she should come and work with me. Why was I so impressed with Kelly? She was genuine and authentic. This translated into her being very personable. Not only was she friendly but she clearly was very interested in providing us with the best dining experience possible. Kelly checked on us regularly, was witty and her countenance literally beamed.

It was obvious from the minute we sat down that Kelly was fully invested in her job. She had “skin in the game” so to speak. She greeted every customer that walked in the door, even if she wasn’t their server. And when a customer departed she acknowledged them similarly. There is a great lesson here for us entrepreneurs. When someone throws themself into their job like Kelly did, it not only is obvious but it is infectious. My wife and I both left the diner feeling more upbeat than we did when we walked in.

While sitting in the booth listening to some great old rock and roll tunes (from the 60s of course) I got to thinking about what makes Kelly tick. As Simon Sinek would say, what is her WHY? It was pretty apparent from what she said and her demeanor that Kelly is all about building trust and lasting relationships. Thus, everything she does for her customers is foundational in this respect. At one point she stopped by to see if some barbecue sauce had been delivered – it had not. She ran off to the kitchen and got it. When she returned, she explained that someone else was bringing it and then there was a minor disaster in the kitchen that caused the sauce to get waylaid. The fact that she felt a need to explain what had happened told me that she really wanted to earn our trust.

As entrepreneurs we need to have “skin in the game” as do all of the people we work with. It’s pretty evident when someone is simply going through the motions. While on the same vacation, we ate at another restaurant where our server was nice, but it was obvious she was just doing her job. She made no effort to engage us in conversation and build a relationship of any sort. Our experience in this restaurant and with this server was fine. But it serves in stark contrast with our Kelly experience.

Skin in the game means doing whatever it takes to make the customer happy. Skin in the game means going the extra mile for everyone involved – customer, company and other team members. Skin in the game means taking the wins and losses personally. Skin in the game means sometimes doing something that is less advantageous for us and more advantageous for someone else.

We know when we’ve become fully invested in whatever we’re doing. The results will be evident when we see that everyone involved had the kind of WOW experience that we did with Kelly.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

waitress

The Bond

Question: I’ve noticed that some people aren’t following through and doing what they say they’ll do. Does it seem like this has become more of a problem over the years?

Answer: What you are describing has been occurring for time in memoriam so I wouldn’t necessarily say that it’s become worse. And it’s not only a crucial issue for entrepreneurs but for everyone else as well. At the root of this is a simple word . . . commitment.

I’m an old school kind of guy and believe that a commitment is the same as a promise. It’s about trust and a my-word-is-my-bond mindset. How we deliver on our commitments to others begins with how we deliver on commitments to ourselves. My parents instilled in me a deep sense of discipline and pride when I was growing up. I had a wide range of chores – some of which I did not particularly like. I practiced the piano for 30-minutes at 5:30 AM on weekdays. I wasn’t given the option of scrapping a practice session. I know I was driven not to disappoint my parents – but in the process they taught me to take pride in what I did and not to disappoint myself. Thus, I learned how to make commitments to myself and keep them.

How can we learn to make meaningful commitments to ourselves? It starts with simple things. Perhaps we say, “I’m going to commit to an exercise program five days a week.” How seriously do we take such a commitment? If we exercise for a couple of weeks and then fall off the wagon, we undoubtedly may rationalize quitting. But are we being true to the bond we’ve created with ourselves? If we can’t even keep the commitments we make to ourselves, how will we fare when we make commitments to others – commitments that others trust and count on us to keep?

If we say to ourselves, “I will try,” or “I think I can,” that’s not really a commitment. When we say “I will,” it is. When we frame commitment to “my word is my bond” and “I will,” we can now set clear standards of accountability for ourselves. I can ask myself, did I keep my word when I said “I will?” This is a very easy question to answer – it’s either yes or no.

Finally, are we prepared to go above and beyond our “legal” obligation to deliver on a commitment? In other words, do we say we’ll do something and if we fail, do we point to the “fine print” and say we’ve measured up anyway? Years ago, one of our sales associates ran into financial difficulties. We loaned him some money and told him to pay us back when he got back on his feet. He was very appreciative and assured us that he would do so. We chose not to put anything in writing and instead operated on the basis of trust. A year later, this associate was closing transactions and making good money. Not once did he ever acknowledge his commitment to pay us back. Because we had no formal contract with him, I suppose the case could be made that he had no legal obligation to pay us back. We never really defined what it meant for him to be “back on his feet.” But he knew what it meant and so did we.

We make commitments only when we are intentional about delivering on them 100%. And when we meet the obligations we commit to ourselves, we are then ready to take the sacred step of honoring the trust placed in us by others.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

commitment