Question: I am very competitive and want to win in the worst way. It depresses me when I lose. Are these feelings healthy?

Answer: The world is more competitive than ever before. Companies are competing for customers. Individuals are competing for jobs, promotions, more compensation, better assignments – it never ends. And yes . . . competition is healthy. It makes us better at what we do. It makes us stronger, tougher and more innovative. But this can only happen if we are willing to embrace competition in a positive and constructive way.

How do we embrace competition and why would we want to? It comes down to something I mention quite often – mindset. We can either fear and resent competition, or we can view it as an opportunity for growth. And we know that fear and resentment are negative energy. How then can we win with negative energy? Instead, we can look at competition with an attitude of what we can learn. Moreover, we should take the opportunity to accentuate our strengths and shore up our weaknesses.  

I used to obsess over the competition. I would incessantly study the win-loss records of our competition and try and figure out their every move. When they won and I lost, it was devastating and I would move through a series of emotions from second-guessing myself to believing that they somehow cheated. Finally at some point I realized that I was so focused on the competition that I was failing to focus on my own performance. Could this have been the reason they were winning and I was not? Going forward I opted to create a game plan that was different and began to focus on executing that game plan to perfection. I stopped obsessing about the competition because it was apparent that I was giving away my power when I did so.

As a kid I loved to play baseball. I can still hear the coaches drilling the words, “keep your eye on the ball” into my brain. The analogy certainly fits in a competitive context. Fixating on my competitor causes me to take my eye off the ball. When I watch the pitch, I hit home runs. Today the only reason I watch the competition is to find something I can use constructively to incorporate into my own game plan. And then I hit even more home runs. Batter up.  

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.