Tag Archives: eye contact

The Sensitive Entrepreneur

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We have all known hard-charging Type A entrepreneurs who have a “take no prisoners” attitude. These people are the doers. They are decisive and they know how to execute. But sometimes there is a downside to this sort of personality. Yes, sometimes those of us who are very driven may tend to be insensitive. This usually is not intentional but nonetheless it can have a detrimental effect on our team members and the culture we are trying to build.

There are many ways that insensitivity can manifest. It can be as direct as making derogatory or belittling comments to as subtle as failing to acknowledge someone with a friendly greeting in the morning. Think about an exchange like this. Team member – “I’d like to volunteer to work with Jim on the Norton project.” Entrepreneur – “No, you just need to stay focused on what you are doing.” While it may be absolutely true that the team member needs to keep doing what she’s doing, the way the entrepreneur delivered the message could be construed as insensitive. A different selection of words would make all the difference. How about this instead? “Jan – thanks for the offer. Your project is critically important, and I am counting on you to get it wrapped up. But I will take a rain check on having you help with the next one.” This statement acknowledges the team member with an expression of appreciation and affirms her value. And it gives her hope that she will be given another opportunity in the future.

So, how do we develop the appropriate level of sensitivity without going so far as to sing Kumbaya all the time? There is a very simple method that I have learned over the years. I will admit to once-upon-a-time being the insensitive Type A hard-charger that was described in the opening paragraph. I justified my behavior by believing that I was simply being expedient in my dealings with others. After all, I was moving at 100 miles an hour and the quicker I could get through with one meeting the sooner I could move on to the next. But I gradually became aware that my people skills were suffering. I was not doing anything to cultivate relationships or goodwill. Eventually I developed a new awareness by just putting myself in the other person’s shoes. How would I feel if someone spoke to me a certain way; said something in a certain manner, or failed to somehow acknowledge me?

The key is to practice, practice and constantly practice. I try to pay attention to how everyone around me feels. In a restaurant, I want to make sure that the wait staff are properly appreciated. At the office I try to make eye contact with members of our team as I walk by and greet each one of them. I pay attention to the language that I use, going the extra mile to avoid careless statements that could be misconstrued. Again, I am always testing what I say or do against the basic premise of how I would want to be treated if I were the other person. After a while it becomes very intuitive.

The mark of a good leader is how he or she treats others. Running roughshod or being humble and sensitive? The choice is easy when walking a mile in another’s shoes.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

Good or Bad Signals?

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You walk into a meeting and there are several people in the room. Two people are scowling, another has his face in his hands, and one person has his body turned away from the others with his arms crossed. It’s not hard to surmise that there are some unhappy folks in our midst. Entrepreneurs will do well to pay attention to body language and non-verbal forms of expression – not only to understand how others may be feeling but also to know what signals he/she may be sending.

So quick – here’s a bit of trivia. What was the television commercial that coined the phrase “never let them see you sweat?” Give up? It was a commercial for a deodorant product called Dry Idea and was released in 1984. Though the product is long forgotten, the phrase is apropos for every entrepreneur. Let’s focus on how we want others to see us.

As a leader, the last thing I want is for anyone else to sense that I’m having a bad day. Fortunately this seldom happens, but when it does I don’t want members of my team to be nervous or concerned about how I’m feeling. Putting on the happy face is important when others are looking to us for leadership. Members of our team often take their cues from us. That’s why I do my best to try and always send positive vibes.

How we dress can send a powerful message. A number of years ago our companies went from casual Fridays to casual every day. It seemed to be the way of the world and there was a lot of enthusiasm for making the shift. After a few months, I realized that I did not like it. However, once a policy has been changed giving something like this to the team, it’s very hard to take it away. But that didn’t mean I had to dress down myself. Instead, I started wearing suits or sport coats and ties every day but Friday. I’m just more comfortable attired this way. And being one of the few business people still dressing up, I have been the recipient of many a comment as to how nice I look. If nothing else, others are noticing that I am representing our organization in a sharp and tasteful manner. Perhaps they’ll draw a positive conclusion about our brand as well.

I’m working with my oldest grandson (age 11) to help him learn how to shake hands. The handshake should be firm but not crushing. It’s important for the hand to be dry and warm. A cold or wet handshake is a turnoff. At the same time as the handshake is occurring, we look the other person in the eye, SMILE and introduce our self – “I’m Lee Harris.” I teach my grandson that when he does this in a confident manner the other person will almost always reciprocate with his or her name. At this point it’s a good idea to repeat the other person’s name – “Hi Dylan, it’s nice to meet you.” So you may be thinking, “What’s the big deal? I already know this stuff.” You would be amazed at how many entrepreneurs don’t know how to shake hands! Oh, and one other thing. When wearing a name badge, stick or pin it on the right side – not the left. This way, when you reach out to shake someone’s hand, it’s easy for them to see your name badge.

We tend to sit a lot in the business world. Our days are consumed with meetings and there are many levels of unspoken communications constantly occurring while we are seated. Are we rocking in our chair? Do we have a fidget-prone foot or leg? These movements can be distracting to others and may lessen the impact of what we have to say. Are we slouching in our chair? Is our phone in our lap and are we looking down for extended periods of time as we check e-mails, texts, etc.? As entrepreneurial leaders we want to set a good example for our team. Good posture and ongoing attentiveness sends the right message.

Finally, I can’t overemphasize the power of the SMILE and regular eye contact. This form of non-verbal communications puts people at ease and is vital to establishing a positive rapport.

Even though we may have learned about body language and non-verbal communications long ago, it’s always a good idea to periodically review and refresh. Better yet, spend a few moments to teach a youngster what you’ve learned.

You can also listen to a weekly audio podcast of my blog. What you hear will be different than what you read in this blog. Subscribe on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also click on this link – Click here to listen to Audio Episode 82 – “No” Flippers.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.