Speak to Me

Question: Recently I was asked to speak before an industry group. I’m very nervous about giving this presentation. How can I get rid of the butterflies and give a talk for which I can be proud?

Answer: Public speaking offers a terrific opportunity to share knowledge and gain exposure for your organization and yourself. And yet it’s something that a large percentage of the population fears . . . even dreads. Why is that? I believe that the main reason is that we are so afraid of what other people will think of us. What if we make a mistake? Will we be viewed as not having the expertise that we want to project? Perhaps we measure ourselves against the lofty speaking styles of those we perceive to be great orators.

As with most things, successful public speaking is all about mindset. We can allow the fear to consume us or we can turn the tables and actually embrace the opportunity. Think about this. The choice is very clear – consuming fear or a joyful embrace. Assuming that we choose to embrace the opportunity we then must continuously affirm how positively excited and grateful we are to be making the presentation. Making this choice is Step One in the process.

Step Two is to determine the style of speaking that is best suited for us. I detest standing behind a podium and reading a speech. Instead, I need to connect with my audience. I’ve adopted a style where I take a microphone and walk around the room – almost like a town hall format. I ask questions of the audience and encourage their feedback throughout my presentation. Thus, I do not put myself in situations where I can’t adapt the presentation to my style. And when I’ve been asked to stand behind a podium and read a speech, I’m generally able to re-work the format into my walk-around more casual approach. Finding the right style of speaking is a critical step toward a successful presentation.

Step Three is to practice, practice and practice. I recommend that you practice your presentation at least three times in front of other people if possible. The more you practice the more confident you will become. Practice also will allow you to become more fluid in your delivery and to fine tune some of the details that you wish to present.

So, now we have continuously embraced the opportunity with a positive attitude. We have developed a speaking style that is just right for us. And we’ve practiced our presentation multiple times. Now the moment of truth has arrived and perhaps we’re feeling a little jittery. Try “leaning into” the jitters. Instead of allowing them to nibble at our confidence, we turn the anxiety into excitement. Try exclaiming, “I am thrilled to have the opportunity to make the best presentation I’ve ever made in my life!” Say it multiple times along with a few deep breaths, and we’re ready to rock-and-roll.

Speaking in public is an honor. Presenting over and over ensures that we’ll become highly proficient. And then the feeling we get when we’re finished is that of supreme satisfaction.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

public speaking

Clouds

Question: I’ve made great progress toward becoming successful but I find myself feeling a great deal of fear at times. I know that I’m afraid of failure and all the consequences associated with it and I know it is holding me back. How do I overcome this fear?

Answer: Fear kills. It kills dreams, creativity, and entrepreneurial spirit. Fear can be paralyzing. You are wise to declare that you want to overcome it. Some people say that fear can be motivating – that having a bit of fear is a good thing. I don’t subscribe to that philosophy. I can find plenty of positive things to motivate me and the negativity of fear is not one of them. Removing fear from our consciousness is a process and should be treated as such. I realize that this may sound somewhat clinical but I’ve found that gaining a thorough understanding of the root of a fear is an important first step.

Over the years I’ve heard entrepreneurs discuss a myriad of fears including public speaking, losing a big client, encountering poor health, financial issues, entering into a romantic relationship – you name it and I’ve heard it. But overcoming these fears has one thing in common. The root cause of the fear must be identified before it can be resolved. Doing this may require some introspection and more than a few uncomfortable moments.

Thirty years ago I found myself flying on airplanes every week. I had a young family at the time and developed a severe fear of getting on a plane. My stomach was tied up in knots; I began to sweat; I’d feel faint, and my heart was pounding out of my chest. It was all I could do to force myself to walk down the jet way. I was convinced that the odds were against me and plane was going to crash. After months of trying to fight the anxiety I finally began to search for the root cause. I realized I was afraid of leaving my small children without a father – and to some extent I was afraid of death itself. I worked with my minister to understand where this came from and gradually the fear disappeared. Having always been fascinated with airplanes I began studying the mechanics of flight, started taking flying lessons and eventually bought a plane of my own. How’s that for turning the tables on fear?

My dad had a terrific saying, “Your troubles are like the clouds. Tomorrow they will be gone.” Our fears can also be like dissipating clouds if we don’t try to fight or suppress them. Instead we must go inward and find the source of our fear. Then gently and easily we release it to be replaced with confidence and faith.   

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.