Entrepreneurial Insecurities

Let’s go exploring. Let’s explore the mind of an entrepreneur. What types of thoughts are entrepreneurs thinking? The answer may surprise you. Many people see entrepreneurs as self-confident, assertive individuals who always have it “all together.” Look at the roster of famous entrepreneurs – Sir Richard Branson, Mark Cuban, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg. Certainly no shrinking violets in this bunch!

So, we’re all like this star-studded list of entrepreneurs – right? Well . . . maybe not so much. All that moxie and nerves of steel gives way to self-doubts and uncertainty. Am I a fake? Am I not good enough? What if I fail and lose all my money? No one likes me or my idea. These thoughts are insidious and destructive. And yet we think them anyway.

We’ve all heard the “fake it till you make it” mantra. This implies that an entrepreneur is continuing to perfect his or her product/service while still pulling out the stops to sell it. Products and services are iterative and there will always be newer and better models. Our entrepreneurial insecurities emerge when we worry that there may be flaws in the current version that cause such a strong level of customer dissatisfaction that our whole enterprise bombs. This is where the “fake it” part of the equation can spill over into our psyche and cause us to question whether or not we really know what we’re doing.

“What if I’m not good enough?” Often we’ll see other entrepreneurs who seem to be riding the wave. Everything is going right for them and we surmise that they are on top of the world. Perhaps we’ve just suffered a setback of some sort. We look at the competitive landscape and begin to wonder if we’re losing the race. This feeling intensifies as this cycle persists – others seem to be winning and we aren’t.

It’s 3:00 AM and we wake up in a cold sweat. Our hearts are pounding and we’re a bit disoriented. We’ve just launched a major project that by our assessment, involves more risk than we’re used to taking. Then the mind games begin. We see the endeavor cratering which will cost us a lot of money . . . not to mention reputation. This is followed by the thought that we’re losing our mojo and our business will eventually fail. Ultimately we declare bankruptcy, lose our house, are divorced by our spouse and end up living under a bridge!

Finally, some of us may be feeling rejected. Again, we may have been told “no” so many times that we begin to wonder what is wrong with us. Is there something about our personality, the way we look, the things we say or the way we act? Maybe it has something to do with where we live, the car we drive, the people who are our friends or even where we went to school. Our natural reaction is to feel hurt and maybe even victimized.

Entrepreneurial insecurities are understandable but unproductive. It’s important that we recognize them; resolve them as quickly as possible, and move on. Allowing them to fester can be a slippery slope to some serious career or life-threatening behaviors. Drug and alcohol abuse, deteriorating health, extramarital affairs, gambling, physical and psychological abuse of loved ones and even suicidal tendencies are some of the more prevalent examples.

We entrepreneurs thrive when we have a healthy self-image. Developing great resilience is critical to our success in this arena. Smoothing out the ups and downs of our fast-paced lives is also a step in the right direction. Earlier in my career I would experience the euphoria of winning to the fullest. But similarly, I would experience the depression of losing to the fullest as well. These wild emotional swings would result in my feeling on “edge” much of the time. The feeling of victory was fantastic, but I always wondered when the other shoe was going to drop.

I’ve learned to moderate my emotions. When I am part of a winning experience, I know I’ve been there before. And it’s the same with the losses. I know what it takes to achieve victory and I know what to do to avoid defeat. Some of this is simply age and experience. But I believe most of it is the mindset I have chosen for myself. The key word in the previous sentence is “choice.”

We can avoid the pitfalls and traps that are set when we have entrepreneurial insecurities. This is accomplished by celebrating our success not by spiking the ball in the end zone, but through understanding exactly how we won and replicating it over and over. Steadfastly focusing on our vision for the future is paramount to warding off negativity and self-doubt. Above all, we build our resilience by maintaining our optimism and positive attitude, no matter what.

You can also listen to a weekly audio podcast of my blog. What you hear will be different than what you read in this blog. Subscribe on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also click on this link – Click here to listen to Audio Episode 71 – Civil War.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

Alarm clock on night table showing 3 a.m.

Narrow Guardrails

Consider the following conversation that an entrepreneur named George is having with himself. “I really would like to accept the invitation to speak to the Downtown Civic Club. But I’m afraid I’ll be too nervous.” Here’s a similar conversation being held in the head of Megan, another budding entrepreneur. “I just don’t know. Maybe I should apply for that fellowship – but the odds aren’t in my favor to win.” And finally, Entrepreneur Don is thinking, “I’m reluctant to invest in a new product line because I’m not convinced it can succeed.”

But there’s more of a story behind each of these “conversations.” For George, he remembers the time several years ago when he made a presentation at a conference and was unprepared – he bombed. Megan recalls once applying for a highly coveted membership in a leadership organization. The process was very competitive and Megan’s application was rejected. Finally, Don previously invested in a product line that failed and he lost a chunk of change on the idea. I’m going to use a descriptive phrase for what is happening that will probably demonstrate a generation gap. What George, Megan and Don are doing is “playing old tapes.” Some younger members of the audience who may not know what “tapes” are. In the old days, some of us “old people” listened to music and dialogue on a thin magnetized strip of plastic film. There were reel-to-reel tapes, eight track tapes and cassette tapes to name a few “tape” formats.

To “play old tapes” is to recall negative experiences from the past and make decisions today based upon those experiences. Playing old tapes generally embraces the notion of lack and limitation. It’s based in fear – often an irrational fear – that shakes our confidence. Over time, these old tapes can have a paralyzing effect for an entrepreneur. Eventually we can fall into a rut with narrow guardrails that are reflective of our past failures. What we really want to do is to venture off this rutted road to nowhere and get back on the freeway that will take us to our dreams.

Getting rid of old tapes is harder than it sounds, but it can (and must) be done. First, we embrace who we are right now. We cannot change the past. There’s not a single person alive today who hasn’t made mistakes. And I think it’s safe to say that all of us have made many. We should use the past for its instructive elements while discarding the emotional aspects of how it felt to be embarrassed, hurt or even shamed. The instructive element for George is to always be sufficiently prepared for future presentations. It’s in his best interest to release the humiliation that he carries for it serves no purpose. In a sense, it’s time to get rid of the rearview mirror.

Once we have determined the instructive elements from our past mistakes and thrown out the emotional rearview mirror, we move on to the next step. What exactly does our success look like? For Megan, she holds an image in her mind’s eye. She sees herself attending a luncheon with hundreds of other people. And at the appointed time, she hears her name being called and watches as she walks to the stage to receive congratulations for winning the fellowship. This visualization is powerful and is a “tape” worth playing over and over. In so doing, we pattern our brain to be receptive to the success that awaits us.

Finally, we celebrate by making new “tapes.” This is accomplished by rejoicing in the small victories that we constantly encounter. We entrepreneurs think big. We set lofty goals and we are always pushing for the big wins. But we tend to overlook the small wins we experience every single day. Entrepreneur Don realizes that his sales are growing at a respectable pace. His team has been 100% intact for four years. His defective product returns are zero. All of these factors are wins and Don should take pride in their achievement. He now sees that he’s on the right track and is perfectly capable of making the right decisions.

We stop the process of playing old tapes by discerning the instructive elements from our past mistakes and eliminating the negative emotions that we remember. Then we repeatedly visualize our success and celebrate the wins we are experiencing on a daily basis. The end result is a completely new set of positive tapes that are free of lack and limitation.

You can also listen to a weekly audio podcast of my blog. What you hear will be different than what you read in this blog. Subscribe on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also click on this link – Click here to listen to Audio Episode 52 – Ice and Eskimos.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

Oh Those Surly Bonds

I’m proud to say that I’m an entrepreneur in a state of denial. And I suggest that you too should be in a similar state of denial. Why you ask, would an entrepreneur want to be in denial? After all, we’re eternal optimists and have a never-say-die approach to everything . . . right? Here’s what I’m in denial about.

I deny fear. I realize that fear freezes me into a state of inertia, or causes me to make irrational decisions. Fear saps my energy and causes me to ride an emotional roller-coaster. Fear robs me of my creativity and my initiative. I will not be afraid.

I deny all thoughts of self-doubt. Self-doubt is my mortal enemy. It causes me to question my instincts and clouds my intuition. I become tentative and worry about making mistakes. Self-doubt destroys my confidence and causes me to question my abilities. I will not allow self-doubt to manifest in my life.

I deny any belief that I’m a victim. There may be times when I feel that I’ve been wronged or believe someone has done something that prevents my success. I realize that when I feel victimized I’m giving away my power to someone else. Playing the victim fills me with negative energy. I will not be a victim to anyone for anything.

I deny all thoughts of lack and limitation. I stop myself when I start to utter phrases such as, “I can’t because,” “I’m not able,” and “if only.” My entrepreneurial spirit is dulled when I think that I am limited in some way. I realize that the only limitations I have are those that I place upon myself. I will not allow thoughts of lack and limitation to creep into my consciousness.

Being in denial about fear, self-doubt, beliefs of victimization, and thoughts of lack and limitation is only the first of two critical steps. It’s not enough to simply deny these negative factors. We must replace them with positive action-oriented affirmations. I deny fear and embrace faith. I deny self-doubt and have total confidence in who I am and what I’m doing. I deny any belief that I’m a victim and take full responsibility for my actions. I deny all thoughts of lack and limitation and know that my opportunities have no bounds.

Denying that which will inhibit me and affirming the positive direction I will take, allows me to release the surly bonds that hold me. And then I can soar to new heights.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

space-shuttle-atlantis

Beam Me Up Scotty

Did you know that Michael Jordan was cut by his high school basketball team because it was determined that he lacked skill? Babe Ruth struck out 1,330 times in his stellar career. Winston Churchill flunked sixth grade. Elvis Presley was once told that his career was going nowhere and he should drive a truck. Authors Stephen King, John Grisham, Theodore Seuss Giesel and cartoonist Charles Schultz were all rejected more than 85 times before being published.

What do all of these famous people have in common? They all are or were extremely self-confident. Successful entrepreneurs need a healthy dose of self-confidence. Without it the chances to achieve our goals and objectives drop precipitously. We also must guard against misunderstanding confidence for arrogance. Arrogance is actually overcompensation for a lack of confidence.

So how do we go about building self-confidence? Allow me to share my experience with you. Early in my career I struggled in this department. I graduated from college at 21 years of age and immediately began working for the company I’ve been with ever since. I thought I was pretty confident when I was in school but in the real world I discovered a lot of self-doubt. It didn’t help that I was told that I was just a punk kid who didn’t know anything. This statement was reinforced for a number of years – and I let it get inside my head. Eventually I came to realize that with a few years of experience under my belt and some creative successes along the way, I really did know what I was doing.

Here are some ideas. Repetition is extremely important. Identify one or more things that you feel less confident about and do them over and over again. Perhaps it’s public speaking or maybe it’s interacting with lots of other people in a large group setting. Set standards for what you believe to be “good” or “great.” Try and consistently perform to those standards and when you do, congratulate yourself. Own your mistakes and setbacks. Resist the temptation to blame others or play the victim. When we focus on how we can improve and do things differently the next time, we build confidence for our next encounter in a similar situation. When we celebrate the success of others – including our competitors – it’s a demonstration of confidence. When we criticize others – including our competitors – it’s not. When we’re not afraid to be wrong, that’s evidence of self-confidence. Being defensive and making excuses is not. Being positive and humble are definitely traits of self-confident people.

Self-confidence can ebb and flow. Our goal is to be more consistent with our confidence. But just because we have moments of doubt or fear, doesn’t mean we’re losing our mojo. When we can take a deep breath and understand from where the doubt or fear is coming, that’s a way we can regain our confidence.

Self-confidence enables us to eliminate thoughts of lack and limitation and know the truth about ourselves. In so doing, we can shoot for the stars and realize our true potential. Beam me up Scotty.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

Scotty

Brick Walls

Let’s count brick walls. They are everywhere. We encounter them at work and at home. We find them in our personal and business relationships. Brick walls seem to be a part of our lives. But do they need to be?

We tend to be great masons and build some very elaborate and impregnable brick walls. The brick walls to which I refer are the limitations that we impose upon ourselves. Sometimes we believe that these limitations are imposed by others but if we really examine them closely, they are more often than not, self-imposed. It is critical for us as entrepreneurs to avoid allowing thoughts of lack or limitation to creep into our psyches.

Let’s look at some of the things we speak to ourselves and say to others. Anytime a sentence contains the words “I can’t,” “I don’t” or “I won’t” there’s a strong possibility that limitations are in play. Certainly there are some limitations that are rational and necessary – I’m not talking about those. Thoughts of lack and limitation that prevent us from achieving our greatest potential and success are what we need to train ourselves to eliminate.

I can recall several times over the course of my career where a rookie entered the commercial real estate business and completed a series of amazing transactions. Everyone looked at each other and said, “How did he do it?” Well, I know how. This rookie didn’t know what he didn’t know. Make sense? In other words, he didn’t know to place limitations on himself that many veterans of the industry had imposed upon themselves. As a result, he made cold calls on clients that others thought to be untouchable or intractable. And guess what? He got deals done.

Why do we limit ourselves in the first place? Often it is the result of fear or a lack of knowledge. Analyze the following statement. “I can’t pursue that business opportunity because I don’t have the money to do so.” This statement contains both the “I can’t” and “I don’t” negative affirmations which will probably result in this person not pursuing the business opportunity. Most likely the underlying reason for the statement is that this person either has a fear about the business opportunity – perhaps it’s a fear of failure – or he/she simply doesn’t know how to find the money needed. Regardless, the opportunity won’t be pursued because this person has built a brick wall around it.

So, what’s the truth? We have a choice to either create reality or face reality. If we choose to create our reality, we can do so by removing all thoughts of lack and limitation. We tap into our creative energy and identify the resources that we need to succeed. We pursue that business opportunity because we find a way to raise the money that is needed. In several of the companies with which I’m involved, we regularly complete apartment developments and acquisitions utilizing very complex financial structures. We’ve rescued many a deal from the scrap heap because we not only have the knowledge to figure out how to make them work, but we also have no fear of failure. Do we fail? Sure we do. But our failures are simply steps toward our ultimate end goal. And we manage our risk so that none of our failures are fatal.

We can go through a life full of brick walls that are of our own making, or we can create our own reality by taking the simple yet powerful step of eliminating thoughts of lack and limitation. Whenever these thoughts start to become a part of our mindset, we recognize them; we release them, and we replace them with the truth of unlimited possibilities.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

brick walls

Who Needs King Midas?

We all know the story of King Midas. The satyr Silenus became drunk and wandered into King Midas’ rose garden where he passed out. Midas found him and treated him kindly whereupon Silenus offered Midas a wish. The king asked that everything he touched would turn to gold. The wish was granted and thereafter everything that Midas touched turned to gold . . . including his daughter. Sadly, Midas died of starvation because even the food he touched turned to gold. Did Midas actually prosper through all of this?

Prosperity and abundance take many forms. This blog is specifically about financial prosperity. As entrepreneurs we have an opportunity to take stock about our attitude toward prosperity. Early in my career I was focused on the Almighty Dollar. Everything was about money for me. And the harder I chased it, the more elusive it became. It seemed as though I could see prosperity, but it was always just barely beyond my outstretched fingertips. What a frustrating period this was for me!

It’s easy now for me to see why I wasn’t prosperous. Very simply, I had the wrong attitude. I have a surefire, 100% guaranteed method that will ensure that you will enjoy financial prosperity beyond your wildest dreams. And unlike a lot of snake oil salesmen that are peddling their methods, I’m going to pass it along to you absolutely free! Here’s what worked for me.

First, I stopped focusing on money and instead found my Passion. I’ve written before about a concept that Simon Sinek discusses in his book entitled, Start with Why. When we understand WHY we exist and then align everything in our lives with our WHY we begin to live our passion. If we start with our WHY, our HOW and our WHAT will emerge effortlessly.

Second, I embraced Tithing. I give away at least 10% of every dime that comes into my life. We tithe to that which feeds our soul. This might be to a church or some other individual or cause that truly makes a spiritual difference in our lives – and I’m not talking about just religion here. Tithing enables me to see the Law of Attraction at work every single day for I know that when I give away my treasure without condition, I attract much more Good into my life.

Third, I have No Fear of lack or limitation whatsoever. When I write a large tithing check I never wonder for one second if I should give less or keep the money in my bank account until my balance is a little larger. No matter what happens – no matter how tough or bleak things may be in the moment, I always know that good things will come my way – and they always do!

Finally I do my darnedest to maintain Positive Mindset at all times. Negative thoughts are toxic and poisonous to positive energy. And positive energy is necessary to deliver prosperity. Fortunately this isn’t too hard to do as I live my passion every day.

Financial prosperity comes about when we intentionally create the environment for it to grow and flourish. When we do this who needs King Midas?

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

King Midas

Speak to Me

Question: Recently I was asked to speak before an industry group. I’m very nervous about giving this presentation. How can I get rid of the butterflies and give a talk for which I can be proud?

Answer: Public speaking offers a terrific opportunity to share knowledge and gain exposure for your organization and yourself. And yet it’s something that a large percentage of the population fears . . . even dreads. Why is that? I believe that the main reason is that we are so afraid of what other people will think of us. What if we make a mistake? Will we be viewed as not having the expertise that we want to project? Perhaps we measure ourselves against the lofty speaking styles of those we perceive to be great orators.

As with most things, successful public speaking is all about mindset. We can allow the fear to consume us or we can turn the tables and actually embrace the opportunity. Think about this. The choice is very clear – consuming fear or a joyful embrace. Assuming that we choose to embrace the opportunity we then must continuously affirm how positively excited and grateful we are to be making the presentation. Making this choice is Step One in the process.

Step Two is to determine the style of speaking that is best suited for us. I detest standing behind a podium and reading a speech. Instead, I need to connect with my audience. I’ve adopted a style where I take a microphone and walk around the room – almost like a town hall format. I ask questions of the audience and encourage their feedback throughout my presentation. Thus, I do not put myself in situations where I can’t adapt the presentation to my style. And when I’ve been asked to stand behind a podium and read a speech, I’m generally able to re-work the format into my walk-around more casual approach. Finding the right style of speaking is a critical step toward a successful presentation.

Step Three is to practice, practice and practice. I recommend that you practice your presentation at least three times in front of other people if possible. The more you practice the more confident you will become. Practice also will allow you to become more fluid in your delivery and to fine tune some of the details that you wish to present.

So, now we have continuously embraced the opportunity with a positive attitude. We have developed a speaking style that is just right for us. And we’ve practiced our presentation multiple times. Now the moment of truth has arrived and perhaps we’re feeling a little jittery. Try “leaning into” the jitters. Instead of allowing them to nibble at our confidence, we turn the anxiety into excitement. Try exclaiming, “I am thrilled to have the opportunity to make the best presentation I’ve ever made in my life!” Say it multiple times along with a few deep breaths, and we’re ready to rock-and-roll.

Speaking in public is an honor. Presenting over and over ensures that we’ll become highly proficient. And then the feeling we get when we’re finished is that of supreme satisfaction.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

public speaking