Tag Archives: self-worth

The “We” Entrepreneur

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Entrepreneurship is a team sport. Successful organizations are built on the collective effort of many talented and dedicated people. As leaders, we need to look for every opportunity to acknowledge the contribution of others. I’ve seen study after study that tells us that recognition and appreciation is very important to the culture that we are building – in some cases it is valued as highly as compensation and benefits. And yet there are countless instances where leaders shine the spotlight on themselves and take the credit for a successful endeavor. How does this manifest?

A business leader has been asked by a reporter how his company competed for and won a very large piece of business. Listen to how this statement sounds. “I have had a long-term relationship with the client and have worked for years to get to this point. I developed an innovative strategy that worked just as I thought it would. It’s all queued up so that all my employees must do is execute.” A more thoughtful leader might have said it this way. “We have had a long-term relationship with the client, and our team worked hard to develop and implement an innovative strategy that was spot-on. Our entire organization had a hand in this success, and we are grateful to each and every team member for their contribution. We especially want to thank Alice Doe and John Smith who led the effort.” Notice the second statement did not contain the word “I” a single time? It was filled with the words “we” and “our.” It acknowledged the entire team and focused the spotlight on those team members who were at the forefront of the initiative.

What does it take to become a “We” Entrepreneur? First and foremost, we must have a genuine and authentic attitude about who gets the credit. If we are secure enough in our own skin, we check our ego at the door and do whatever we can to shine the spotlight on the good work provided by members of our team. This means that we must reverse some of the patterns we received as children. When I was young and attending school, we were praised for properly answering a question posed by the teacher. While there was nothing wrong with this, it did create an attention-craving atmosphere for some students. We wanted to receive the approval from an adult which was our proof that we were worthy of their accolades. Parents, teachers, coaches, and a host of other adults were a party to this endless cycle.

Breaking out of the childhood approval-and-acceptance-seeking mode to become an authentic “We” Entrepreneur requires a couple of steps. First, we need to come to a deep understanding within ourselves that we are worthy. In the early years of my career this was a difficult concept because I had little to no experience. I felt a compelling need to prove to the world that I belonged in the big leagues. Eventually I found that when I excelled, my actions spoke louder than chest-beating. In other words, we develop the understanding of worthiness by challenging ourselves and steadily performing at high levels.

Once we have developed a strong sense of self-worth, we look for ways to focus on the accomplishments of others and celebrate when they occur. In other words, we fix the “inner” (me) first and then move to the “outer” (others). This will take practice. We won’t become adept at the “We” concept overnight as I, me, my and mine will creep into our consciousness periodically. Here’s something that helped me and I still do to this day. When I write an e-mail, a text message, a letter, or any other form of written communication, I review it before sending and remove any I, me, my and mine references and replace them with we, our and us, wherever it makes sense. This approach helps keep me mindful of my mission to be a “We” Entrepreneur and spills over into my verbal communications as well. And after doing this for an extended period, it will be more than just a communications tool – you’ll really believe it! We will see the value in the contribution of others and be truly grateful. At that point our acknowledgement will become a genuine part of our persona.

The “We” Entrepreneur is gracious and unassuming. He or she is always appreciative of what others contribute to the success of the team and makes a special effort to shine the spotlight accordingly.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

The Outwardly Focused Entrepreneur

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I was talking with a friend the other day and he mentioned that he gets up tight speaking in public. I’ve had conversations over the years with others who expressed varying degrees of self-consciousness about a myriad of issues. In some cases, there was a dislike for attending functions that would require meeting large numbers of people. In other instances, it was a solo meeting with a high profile individual. Someone even mentioned how nervous they were during a radio interview. Entrepreneurs are thrust into a multitude of situations that require interacting with others and we must be able to do so gracefully and easily.

Being self-conscious is inwardly focused. I remember having no issue speaking in public during high school. And in my early college days I spoke at political events and in other situations with relative ease. Then one day I went to class completely unprepared and had to make a presentation – and I bombed. What an embarrassing and humiliating experience! It rattled me to the point that I was self-conscious about public speaking for a number of years thereafter. I tried everything advised by the experts. Take deep breaths. Smile. Tell a joke. I even envisioned a naked audience! I suppose these tips worked to a small degree, but they weren’t the panacea.

What I eventually figured out was that I needed to get out of myself. In other words, I needed to get out of my own way. I was holding me back. Notice that there were a lot of “I” and “me” words in what I just said. And that was the problem. I was looking inward rather than outward. I was making the situation about me and not what I was truly there to do. Over the years I’ve spoken countless times in public and actually enjoy it. Now there’s more an anticipation of excitement rather than dread. And I’m energized meeting people in large and small groups alike.

Allow me to illustrate the notion of “getting out of myself” with another story. In October 2016, my mother-in-law passed away; she had asked me to deliver the eulogy at her funeral. I prepared and practiced my remarks and thought a great deal about how I might react in the moment. My biggest concern was the possibility of becoming emotional during the eulogy. This in itself wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing, except this sort of emotion can be contagious – especially for a grieving family. When the time came, I understood immediately that the remarks to be made were not about me. This was an occasion to honor and celebrate my mother-in-law. And thus, I became totally outwardly focused.

Most of us have an innate desire to be liked and/or thought well of by others. When we begin to have doubts that others may not like us, we can become very nervous or even embarrassed. I suppose for many of us this goes back to childhood days when we may have been mocked at some point in time. Young children can be brutally candid to the point that scars are caused and invariably must be dealt with when we become adults. Developing a strong sense of self-worth – warts and all – is important to overcoming self-consciousness. And when we can get out of ourselves and focus on others, we push unhealthy self-awareness totally out of the picture. This is true for public speaking as well as interactions with others – in groups or one-on-one. Warren Buffet speaks often in public. He’s not a handsome man and he’s not particularly articulate. But his words can be captivating because he is incredibly comfortable in his own skin and clearly is focused on his audience rather than himself.

So, here’s the simple truth. When we are preparing for a presentation, a speech or interacting with others in a group setting, think about who it’s for. Is it about us? Or is it for others? When we can shine the spotlight away from ourselves, we are getting out of our own way and our encounter will be filled with ease and grace.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.