Judgment Day

Posted on June 2, 2013 by anentrepreneurswords

Question: Where is the fine line between constructive and negative criticism?

Answer: The very word “criticism” has negative connotations for many, so we’re starting from minus territory to begin with. Why? Because criticism is often associated with hurtful, manipulative language. Think about a situation where you feel like you’ve received negative criticism. How does a statement like this feel? “You really screwed up that presentation. You offended the client and couldn’t close the deal. I should have had someone else handle this assignment.” Wow. This sounds like a direct attack on you as a person. It’s no wonder that this type of criticism is not received favorably.

As entrepreneurs we must have thick skin in order to receive criticism of all types. And we must also be able to deliver criticism – but only in a constructive manner. First consider the audience. To deliver constructive criticism it must be perceived as constructive by the receiver. If this person is a highly resilient individual, your criticism may need to be offered more directly and bluntly. Conversely, someone who tends to be more sensitive may need to receive constructive criticism a bit more subtly.

Second, we must measure the intent of our criticism. Do we truly desire to be honest and constructive with what we have to say? Or do we want to send a message of disapproval in order to make the other person feel badly? Sometimes in our personal relationships – with a spouse or significant other – we may have a tendency to be less constructive and our criticism becomes hurtful.

Finally, constructive and effective criticism should always contain some suggestion for improvement. When this is done, our criticism can be perceived as helpful and positive. For example, the statement we read earlier could be modified as follows. “May I make a suggestion? The client may have been offended during the presentation because he thought we were ignoring his needs. The next time, you might consider spending a few moments reviewing the client’s specific needs and then show him how our product meets those needs.” There’s no mistaking that this is a positive and constructive dialogue and will most likely be perceived as intended.

Criticism should be focused on what someone has done or is doing, rather than the person himself. By being honest and appropriately sensitive to another’s feelings, criticism can be used as a positive and productive tool for improvement.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

30,000 Feet

Posted on May 26, 2013 by anentrepreneurswords

Question: Sometimes I tend to get caught up in the details and miss the big picture. What should I do to develop my abilities to have a broader focus?

Answer: Life in general and entrepreneurship specifically, is a mixture of strategy and tactics. It is very easy to fall into a routine of dealing with tactics on a daily basis and letting someone else worry about strategy. After all, this subject is a bit fuzzy anyway. The work has to get done and if the details aren’t tended to, then everything falls apart – right?

Actually the reason many people are extremely tactical is because the overall strategy has never been adequately explained to them. Let me give you an example that borders on the absurd, but will illustrate the point well. Let’s say that you are blindfolded and led into the cockpit of an airplane. The blindfold is removed and you are told that your job is to fly the plane. Let’s also assume that you actually know how to fly the plane. Great. Now what? No other instructions are given. Are you supposed to fly the plane to another destination? If so where? Will there be passengers on the plane or are you flying cargo? Maybe this is just a test flight. Are you starting to get the picture? You know how to fly the airplane – that is to say, that you understand the tactics. But you have no idea what the end result is supposed to be – that is to say, the strategy. By now it’s pretty obvious that the “What” is the strategy, and the “How” are the tactics.

Stop and think about you daily routine. Do you understand the strategies to which your tactical efforts are aimed? If you are a leader, how well do you explain the strategies to those you are expecting to implement tactics to deliver said strategies? This may sound like a very simple premise but it’s one of the biggest areas of miscommunication in our lives today. As a result, many people toil in frustration, feeling like one more cog in a wheel that is going nowhere.

Starting today, resolve to understand the strategic aspects of what you are doing. Make certain that you communicate the strategies to everyone involved if you are the leader. If the strategy is to deliver better customer service than any of your competitors, make sure that you clearly articulate this and make everyone aware of the metrics to be used for accountability. If your team understands the strategy, it can develop the tactics that will lead to success. But if the strategy is unclear and poorly communicated, don’t be surprised if you don’t have the buy-in of the team members.

Each of us wants to feel as though what we are contributing matters. Only when the strategy is clear to all do the tactics matter. And then our sense of self-worth can be fulfilled.

Ne’er a Discouraging Word

Posted on May 19, 2013 by anentrepreneurswords

Question: I’m a pretty optimistic person most of the time. But sometimes when things don’t go quite right I get a bit discouraged. What can I do to avoid these kinds of feelings?

Answer: There is no doubt that maintaining a positive and an optimistic mindset 100% of the time is a high bar to clear. But to be successful entrepreneurs it must be our goal and we must always strive to achieve it. Why? Because an entrepreneur’s worst enemy is negative energy. It saps us of our creativity and our drive. If unchecked, it can trap us in a downward spiral.

I’ve been discouraged at times earlier in my career. And here’s what I learned. Being discouraged never solved one thing for me. Wallowing around in despair never made me feel one whit better. I’m pretty sure that I never made a single nickel as a result of being discouraged. Some might say that discouragement is simply a normal human reaction and that it’s Pollyana-ish to ignore it. Perhaps this is true, but it’s a human reaction that we must eliminate. But how?

Generally discouragement is the result of some sort of adversity. Teaching ourselves not to feel discouraged requires us to examine the way we feel about adversity. Remember this – adversity is a perception and only a perception. It is not reality. What we may have previously perceived as adversity instead is an opportunity for growth and experience. Staying cool, calm and collected when everything seems to be crumbling around us takes courage which is the antithesis of “discourage.” A colleague of mine stepped into his role running one of our business units at a time when that unit was experiencing some significant challenges. He had never run his own business before and not only did he have to learn how to do that, but he also had to learn how to fix some pretty big problems pretty quickly. I am pleased to say that he mastered both and in a big way!

Along the way, my colleague told me that he felt discouraged often. I can remember a number of times when he came into my office in a state of hopelessness and near-panic. There was no doubt that he could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. We talked a lot about how he was choosing to look at his situation. Eventually he understood that he was gaining an amazing amount of experience in a relatively short period of time. He concluded that any adversity he encountered in the future would pale in comparison to what he had initially dealt with. He also started to catch a glimpse of what his business would look like when his “trial by fire” was over. Today he has much thicker skin; he has sharpened his instincts; he has a much more consistently positive mindset, and his business unit is thriving.

When we become discouraged – when the task at hand looks insurmountable – the mindset we choose will lead us to succeed or fail. And if we resolve to maintain a positive perspective and look for the opportunity in adverse conditions, we will succeed beyond our wildest dreams.

Symmetry

Posted on May 12, 2013 by anentrepreneurswords

Question: I’m a bit obsessive about some things and it’s causing a bit of friction in my life. How do I know what to be obsessive about?

Answer: I’m certainly an expert on this subject, so you’ve come to the right source. I’m a neat freak; my wife – not so much. In the past that’s driven me nuts. Suits hang in my closet in a certain order; the crease of a napkin always faces the outside; the trash can in the bathroom sits inside a specific floor tile – you get the picture? When it comes to being obsessive-compulsive, I get the grand prize every time.

A number of famous people have various obsessions. Donald Trump refuses to shake hands because of his germ phobia. Cameron Diaz constantly rubs doorknobs to get rid of germs. Justin Timberlake likes to line objects up perfectly. David Beckham and Jessica Alba are obsessive about cleanliness and tidiness.

What I’ve had to learn is how my idiosyncrasies affect others as well as their impact upon my own productivity. Is anyone being hurt by my obsessions? Am I resentful that others don’t conform to my fastidious nature? Trying to convince my wife that she should be in my league when it came to neatness was a fantasy and unreasonable. It finally dawned on me that my constant harping was just causing strife and wasn’t solving the problem. So we hired someone to clean our house to the point that it’s acceptable to me, and I built her an office where she can pile up her stuff to her heart’s content. I’m pleased to report that these compromises have worked.

To resolve my OCD I now ask myself, “Is there a legitimate purpose served with my metaphorical ‘straightening of paperclips’?” For example I’m known for despising the sight of cigarette butts outside the entrances to our apartment communities as well as dirty elevator tracks. Yes, this is an obsession but one I believe to be healthy. After all, the crisp and clean appearance of our properties is important in attracting new residents and retaining existing ones. Verdict – legitimate purpose for this obsession. Here’s another example. I refuse to send e-mails and even text messages with typos and grammatical errors. This seems to fly in the face of the way society communicates today. But for me there are several things in play. I take great pride in using the English language correctly. I also want to send a message to my colleagues, clients and partners that I am exacting and precise. These are qualities that I believe to be important in my line of work. Verdict – legitimate purpose once again.

Life for some of us is symmetrical and for others it’s abstract. Either works. If we lean toward perfect alignment, we need to do so in moderation. While our obsessions may bring a sense of order, they can be destructive if they offend others and no legitimate purpose is served.

Evening the Score

Posted on May 5, 2013 by anentrepreneurswords

Question: I was royally screwed over in a business transaction. I want to get even. How should I do this?

Answer: You can’t. Revenge is a tricky business and can backfire in so many different ways. Of course you can always turn to the courts if you’ve truly been damaged, but that avenue is also fraught with pitfalls. Over the course of my nearly four decade career, I’ve been a party to a number of legal proceedings. And even in victory there was no real sense of vindication. Litigation typically drags on interminably; it costs a fortune; it’s a time-waster when it comes to legal discovery and trial preparation, and there’s something even more critical. Negative energy. Lawsuits are full of negative energy, creating serious barriers to creative productivity.

I’m not saying that legal action shouldn’t be pursued when warranted – but if getting even is the principal motive – beware. It’s human nature to feel angry when someone takes unfair advantage of us. We can then move down one of two paths. The first and easiest is that of victimhood. We’ve been wronged because someone did something unjust to us. We’re entitled to feel outraged and we spend time telling others about our experience. Been there – done that. I’ve also been heard to say, “Don’t get mad, get even.” But when I put it all in perspective, I realize that I’m giving someone else the power when I play the victim. So I ask myself, “Why as a successful entrepreneur would I want to give someone else negative power over me?”

This self-conversation leads me down the second path, a path that is much more difficult. The path is called, forgiveness. My approach to forgiveness does not condone the unjust act but rather the doer of that act. I have come to understand that not everyone subscribes to the same ethics and standards as do I. But I’ve decided that’s their problem, not mine. When I become the forgiver, I do not give someone else power over me. And I also get the benefit of staying in a positive energy flow through the process. I might not do business with that person again, and if asked, I would decline to provide an endorsement or referral. In the end, I’m able to move through the situation quickly and get on with pursuing my passion.

Life is way too short for grudges and the plotting of revenge. Being a victim is poison to the entrepreneurial spirit. It takes much more strength of character to forgive than to wallow in self-pity. As entrepreneurs we have much more important work to do.

Later

Posted on April 28, 2013 by anentrepreneurswords

Question: I have come to the realization that I’m a procrastinator and it’s really impacting my career. How do I conquer this affliction?

Answer: We procrastinate for several reasons. Three of the more common include simply not wanting to do something; we don’t know how to do it, or we view the task as too big and daunting. It’s important to understand why we are reluctant to tackle whatever it is that needs to be accomplished. Then in clinical fashion we can resolve what is holding us back.

Let’s take the toughest one first – we simply don’t want to do something. Everyone has things they just don’t like doing. As a child, one of my chores was cleaning up the dog poop in the backyard – the product of my parent’s penchant for raising Chihuahuas. Because I was conscripted and had no choice in the matter, I learned to get this nasty responsibility out of the way in the morning before I went to school. As a result I got to eat; was able to play after school, and avoided the wrath of my parents. Fast forward to today and the lesson I learned is to resolve to do the things I don’t want to do as early in the day as possible and focus on the benefits of accomplishment.

A lack of knowledge or understanding can cause us to put off something that needs doing. The simple realization that this is why we are procrastinating can be the kick-start that we need to move forward. We determine if we need clarification from another person. Or perhaps we require technical information that can come through further study. A number of years ago I asked one of my newer colleagues to prepare what I thought was a fairly elementary analysis. Days went by, then a week. When I inquired as to the reason for what I thought was her procrastination, she was embarrassed to admit that she had no idea how to create an Excel spreadsheet.

What do we do about something we are avoiding because it looks so enormous and foreboding we don’t even want to start. Remember the old adage about eating an elephant one bite at a time? Well, it applies here. I am constantly dealing with massive and complicated projects and found long ago that the only way to keep from being overwhelmed is through obsessive planning. Break the task down into manageable components; organize them logically; plot them on a timeline, and execute. This is the only way for me to beat avoidance and stay sane.

The enemy of procrastination is determination. Determination as to the root cause of our avoidance, and then our determination to take the steps necessary to successfully complete the project or task at hand.

No Scorecard

Posted on April 21, 2013 by anentrepreneurswords

Question: What do you think is the lifeblood of entrepreneurship?

Answer: Entrepreneurship is comprised of a great many elements. Creativity, vision, patience, perseverance, capital and integrity are some of the more prominent components. But in my opinion, the lifeblood of entrepreneurship is the building of relationships.

We’ve all heard about how important relationships are but at times I’m not sure that we truly comprehend their vital nature – both as entrepreneurs and as human beings. Early in our business lives many of us are out to “prove something.” We want to make sure that we are perceived as worthy or serious. And at times we may not work as hard to build relationships as we could.

For many years, we had in our family of companies, a commercial real estate leasing and brokerage unit. We leased and sold office buildings, shopping centers, industrial facilities and other commercial properties. The art of building relationships was something we constantly preached and several of our salespeople were receptive to this. Many were not. Those that didn’t buy-in were focused on the transaction. They would make or receive a call to or from someone interested in a property. After some discussion if the prospect wasn’t interested in a property these salespeople would move on to work on another prospect. Other more enlightened salespeople sought to become better acquainted with the prospect, maintained contact and found ways to help that individual even if no transaction was imminent. It was these salespeople who ultimately were able to be the most successful.

Building relationships requires an investment on our part. It is an investment of ourselves in other people. Perhaps that investment takes the form of time, money or emotion. Building relationships does not focus on transactions. Instead it focuses on finding opportunities to genuinely serve others. And we’re not doing so with any expectation of receiving something immediately in return. We serve because it’s the right thing to do. When we do focus on gaining a quid pro quo we often find that the relationship we are trying to establish lacks loyalty – in both directions. Do we hope that the day may come that the person with whom we have a relationship will serve us in some way – i.e. a transaction? Sure, there’s nothing wrong with thinking this, but only because it’s the way the world works.

We can be most successful when we build relationships with others where there is no scorecard. When we have this mindset the game will be won by both parties.

A Positive Rₓ

Posted on April 14, 2013 by anentrepreneurswords

Question: Some of my friends and co-workers seem to be sick all the time. I don’t have time to have the flu or whatever else is going around. How much illness is in a person’s head?

Answer: More than you might imagine. But first, understand that this is too complex of a subject to generalize. It’s tough to see how some infirmities are anything less than real. But you’ve heard it said many times before how powerful our minds can be. And I do believe that the mindset we have makes a big difference in whether we are sick or not.

Here’s the simplest way that I can boil it down. How often do we respond when someone asks how we’re doing, “I’m OK though I’ve been fighting this cold for the past few days?” In some cases we might even tell ourselves or someone else that we’re sick. This may reflect how we feel at the moment, but it goes a lot deeper than that. What we are actually doing is affirming sickness. So when we say, “I’m sick,” guess what – we may eventually become sick or continue being sick if we truly are. So you say, “But I’m just stating the obvious!”

Here’s where it gets interesting. When we affirm something – and really believe it – the probability increases for our affirmation to become a reality. Why then, would we want to increase the probability for our reality to include being ill? Words have power and our thoughts are even more powerful. When we speak words that come from our thoughts we are giving a great deal of power to what we say and what we believe.

As an entrepreneur, I’ve been blessed with a very positive mindset. I’ve noticed over the years that the healthier my lifestyle has become, my attitude has become more positive as well. Good health and a positive frame of mind are two extremely important traits for entrepreneurs. I’ve lost weight by changing my eating habits which has transformed into a new lifestyle. I stopped smoking pipes and cigars years ago. I’ve become addicted to a six-day-a-week physical fitness routine. And I meditate on a daily basis. The result is that I feel better than I have in many years; my outlook is almost always positive, and I won’t allow sickness and disease into my body.

You may think that this sounds a bit woo-woo, and maybe it does. But I’m a walking testament to what can happen when we affirm good health and really believe it. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. And so does our mind.

Buy or Sell?

Posted on April 7, 2013 by anentrepreneurswords

Question: I see people use essentially the same sales techniques, but some are successful and some are not. How can this be?

Answer: There are so many books about selling that it would be impossible to read all of them in a lifetime. And there are so many different techniques that it makes our heads spin. So what does it all boil down to? I can simplify it fairly easily. A successful salesperson does not sell anything. Nothing at all. Nada. Instead, he or she helps a customer buy something.

The distinction between buying and selling is huge. And it can be the difference between success or failure. Let’s examine what all this means. Old-school salespeople do the schmooze with the customer. They use techniques such as asking questions that get the customer to answer with the word “yes.” They attempt to close at least seven times with different methods. They try and create a sense of urgency – i.e. the price is going to increase tomorrow, or there is only one left. I’m not quarreling with the fact that these methods may have worked in the past. But people are more sophisticated in today’s world and they don’t respond to manipulation as they may have in an earlier era.

Rather than selling to someone, I submit that helping someone buy can be as effective as old-school salesmanship – maybe even more so. This starts from a premise of respect in that we want to help meet the needs of a customer – notice the mindset is accentuated by the words “respect” and “help.” Understanding the needs of a customer means asking a lot of questions; usually many more than a customer is typically asked. In the process, there is an opportunity to build a relationship with the customer. Working with someone on a relationship basis is part of the “help” to which I’ve referred. Think about this for a moment. Are you more or less inclined to buy from someone who has genuinely tried to understand your needs and at the same time you are both able to get to know each other better?

Of course you need to be completely knowledgeable about your product or service in order to answer the questions raised by the customer. And you’ll certainly want to demonstrate the features and how they translate into benefits. But I think the sale is won or lost in the first few seconds of the encounter based upon how well you connect with the customer. Will this happen with manipulation and pressure? Or is the connection made through the process of thoroughly understanding needs and building relationships?

To be successful at sales simply practice the Golden Rule. In all likelihood, helping someone buy is the way you would want it to be when you are the customer.

Disorderly Conduct

Posted on March 31, 2013 by anentrepreneurswords

Question: Sometimes entrepreneurial environments become wild and crazy. How do I keep from getting sucked in and swallowed up by all this confusion?

Answer: Don’t you just love it? The environment you describe is typical of a dynamic, fast-paced organization. Meetings and phone calls – one right after another; multiple deals and projects to be tended; and e-mails flying at a dizzying speeds, all add up to only one thing. Chaos. Personally, I am energized by such situations. But it wouldn’t be hard for everything to tip over and fall into the abyss, metaphorically speaking.

Managing chaos is a test in multi-tasking; thinking three-dimensionally; practicing patience; maintaining composure; having a sense of humor; demonstrating physical and mental stamina; being flexible; staying positive; thinking creatively, and communicating effectively. Whew! Seems like a pretty tall order, doesn’t it? Wouldn’t it be more productive if there was more of an orderly flow within an organization? Maybe, but chaos can produce some amazing results.

When things become chaotic, entrepreneurial leaders find out who in an organization can step up and produce results. They see clearly who wilts and who thrives under the pressure. And out of chaos can actually emerge some of the best ideas. One of the finest examples is the Empire State Building. Imagine this. Construction began in January 1930, just when the Great Depression was settling over the country. More than 3,400 workers swarmed the site and built the tallest building in the world – 1,250 feet and containing 2,248,355 square feet (the size of 47 football fields) – and they completed it in 410 days! Imagine the enormity and complexity of this project. The chaos we experience as entrepreneurs is a fraction of what must of have been present with the Empire State Building. I consider this building to be a literal and figurative monument to creating order out of chaos.

So what’s the trick to making chaos work productively and not letting it consume us? First, it’s important to ignore all of the “noise” that comes with chaotic situations. We must become expert at focusing on only that which matters – keep an eye on the prize so to speak. Block out everything else. Second, it is critical that we identify priorities in the jumble of craziness, tasks and emotions. Failure to prioritize is one of the most lethal and negative aspects of chaos. Finally, consciously look for the positive results that can emanate from chaotic situations and feed off of them. This is obviously a state-of-mind opportunity and a choice we can make. The choice is really pretty simple. We can either allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by the chaos, or we can rise above it and use it as a tool to propel our cause.

Chaos is a highly-charged energy flow. It simply has no order to it. When we are able to harness the positive energy elements of chaos, we can use the momentum to create order and attain our goals at a much higher level than otherwise possible.

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