Exciting Disappointment

Every entrepreneur will experience disappointment at one time or another – that’s a fact. We tend to be optimistic and visualize very positive outcomes. Of course not every outcome is realized exactly the way we anticipate. To succeed we need to have a heavy dose of resilience. But there’s more to it than just the ability to bounce back.

We had a really big deal blow up recently. It involved the sale of several apartment properties and would have resulted in a very large financial gain after holding these properties for nearly 20 years. The buyer had made a preliminary inspection of the properties, and a purchase and sale agreement had been executed by both parties. Then the buyer claims that our broker misrepresented an element of the transaction that would ultimately result in a substantial reduction in the price – something we were unwilling to accept. We believe that the buyer never intended to pay the agreed-upon price and was starting the process of “chiseling” once the documents were signed.

This isn’t the first time we’ve had a deal blow up and it certainly won’t be the last. And it isn’t the first time that a buyer acted less than honorably – nor will it likely be the last. Our initial reaction was one of disappointment. It would have been wonderful to monetize an investment that was many years in the making, and we would have disposed of some smaller assets that no longer fit our strategy going forward. Naturally, resilience kicked in and we didn’t shed any tears over this situation. The broker went back to the drawing board and worked to find another buyer. Here’s what may be a surprise to you though – our mindset in the moment.

After I understood the transaction wasn’t moving forward, I actually became excited in a positive way. Why? Because I tend to look at situations like this as a sign that “something better is in store!” Yes, we would have had a very favorable result had we closed the deal. But I’m convinced that there’s something much bigger and better to come from this.

Some may snicker and laugh when they hear this. They might say that this is simply naïve and wishful thinking. I would tell them that I’ve been living my life this way for 40+ years and more often than not, I’m right. Here’s why. By knowing and believing that something better is in store, I’m telling my creative juices to kick into overdrive. In the case of this apartment sale, our broker might come up with another buyer. Yet I have an idea that will require a bit more innovation and take a bit more time, but the end result could be even more profitable than originally planned. And it jazzes me to develop and execute the strategy necessary to make this happen.

A more conventional approach might be to lament the loss of the original buyer. It might be to play the victim and become angry that the original buyer was less than honorable in his dealings with us. We could be mad at the broker for his misstep in the way he worded the offering document that purportedly caused the issue in the first place. But what purpose is served with all of the negativity? The fact still remains that the buyer backed out. The choice is ours as to which fork in the road we take. The one that leads to an even greater success or the one that leaves us wallowing in misery and limited thinking.

When we realize that our entrepreneurial lives are continually unfolding as a series of opportunities, we never look at unexpected outcomes as setbacks. Instead they give us a chance to use our skills, our resilience, our experience and our creativity to achieve even better results than we initially sought. Allowing negative thoughts and emotions enables limitations on our creativity. What might otherwise be viewed as a disappointment is simply a nudge to adjust, modify and tweak in such a way as to eventually win a better prize.

Entrepreneurs need a baseline level of resilience to survive. Seeing greater opportunity in what others might term as failure is a step beyond resilience. And knowing and believing that something better is in store enables us to thrive in amazing ways.

You can also listen to a weekly audio podcast of my blog. What you hear will be different than what you read in this blog. Subscribe on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also click on this link – Click here to listen to Audio Episode 73 – The 1,057 Point Swing.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

Wanna Change the World?

Here’s an obvious statement – entrepreneurs want to build successful businesses. But there’s something more that drives many of us. In some cases this objective is just as important as building the business itself. It’s a notion that invokes strong emotions and can be a driving force. Yes, many entrepreneurs want to make a difference in the world. They want to help change lives in a positive way. This is especially true of the millennial generation but also strikes a multi-generational chord for many.

While making a difference sounds great, how do we go about creating a company that does good work? A strong set of core values and a vision that embraces changing the world are critical factors. But to truly move forward to effectively and sustainably implement this concept we must start . . . with ourselves. Making a difference must become a mindset and a lifestyle. Think about it this way. If we want to lose weight permanently we don’t go on a diet, we change our lifestyle. It works the same way when we want to make a difference – we must change our lifestyle.

There is a simple yet powerful method that will help us move in the direction we desire. It revolves around a daily journal that we keep in which we record each attempt we make to do something that positively impacts one or more people. Here’s something else to think about. Making a difference doesn’t have to involve massive sweeping changes in the world. It starts with a lot of little steps that eventually have a cumulative effect. One of the mistakes that lead to frustration for entrepreneurs is believing that they can be the catalyst for major transformations overnight. Sure, every once in a while this can happen. But shooting for the stars without enough fuel is certainly going to end up in a fizzling disappointment.

What sort of baby steps should we be taking to develop a difference-making lifestyle and mindset? Look at all of the opportunities we have to make a positive impact on the lives of others every single day. In the restaurant where we are having breakfast or lunch, we can compliment our waitperson on providing excellent service. We can hold the door open so that another person can enter or exit. Perhaps we even anonymously pay for someone else’s meal in that restaurant from time-to-time. Maybe we handwrite a thank-you note to someone who has done something nice for us. Or we call a person with best wishes for their birthday. Do we always remember to acknowledge others with a smile and a warm greeting when we see them? Are our “please” and “thank you” manners always on display?

The little every day habits we develop to brighten the day of another individual are foundational toward taking bigger steps. Suppose one of our team members is apparently in distress. We can lend a sympathetic ear. Volunteering is a terrific way to make a positive difference in the lives we touch and can run the gamut of activities. Helping at a homeless shelter, mentoring other entrepreneurs, reading to sick kids in a children’s hospital and providing assistance to scouting organizations are examples of such bigger steps.

To keep ourselves on track, we utilize the Daily Difference Journal to record what we have done each day toward our lifestyle change. While it may seem trite to make an entry like, “told Olivia that her smile brightened the day,” the act of keeping such a tally reinforces the intentionality of our desire to do good things for our world. Repeating this process day-in and day-out helps set the pattern that we desire. Initially it pushes us to remember to look for opportunities to say and do things that create a positive experience for others. Eventually it becomes second nature and we don’t have to remember anything. We simply live each day looking for ways to make others happy and live better lives.

Making a difference in the world is a terrific benefit of being an entrepreneur. A Daily Difference Journal puts us on the path to accomplishing this with gusto!

You can also listen to a weekly audio podcast of my blog. What you hear will be different than what you read in this blog. Subscribe on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also click on this link – Click here to listen to Audio Episode 55 – F-.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

Brick Walls

Let’s count brick walls. They are everywhere. We encounter them at work and at home. We find them in our personal and business relationships. Brick walls seem to be a part of our lives. But do they need to be?

We tend to be great masons and build some very elaborate and impregnable brick walls. The brick walls to which I refer are the limitations that we impose upon ourselves. Sometimes we believe that these limitations are imposed by others but if we really examine them closely, they are more often than not, self-imposed. It is critical for us as entrepreneurs to avoid allowing thoughts of lack or limitation to creep into our psyches.

Let’s look at some of the things we speak to ourselves and say to others. Anytime a sentence contains the words “I can’t,” “I don’t” or “I won’t” there’s a strong possibility that limitations are in play. Certainly there are some limitations that are rational and necessary – I’m not talking about those. Thoughts of lack and limitation that prevent us from achieving our greatest potential and success are what we need to train ourselves to eliminate.

I can recall several times over the course of my career where a rookie entered the commercial real estate business and completed a series of amazing transactions. Everyone looked at each other and said, “How did he do it?” Well, I know how. This rookie didn’t know what he didn’t know. Make sense? In other words, he didn’t know to place limitations on himself that many veterans of the industry had imposed upon themselves. As a result, he made cold calls on clients that others thought to be untouchable or intractable. And guess what? He got deals done.

Why do we limit ourselves in the first place? Often it is the result of fear or a lack of knowledge. Analyze the following statement. “I can’t pursue that business opportunity because I don’t have the money to do so.” This statement contains both the “I can’t” and “I don’t” negative affirmations which will probably result in this person not pursuing the business opportunity. Most likely the underlying reason for the statement is that this person either has a fear about the business opportunity – perhaps it’s a fear of failure – or he/she simply doesn’t know how to find the money needed. Regardless, the opportunity won’t be pursued because this person has built a brick wall around it.

So, what’s the truth? We have a choice to either create reality or face reality. If we choose to create our reality, we can do so by removing all thoughts of lack and limitation. We tap into our creative energy and identify the resources that we need to succeed. We pursue that business opportunity because we find a way to raise the money that is needed. In several of the companies with which I’m involved, we regularly complete apartment developments and acquisitions utilizing very complex financial structures. We’ve rescued many a deal from the scrap heap because we not only have the knowledge to figure out how to make them work, but we also have no fear of failure. Do we fail? Sure we do. But our failures are simply steps toward our ultimate end goal. And we manage our risk so that none of our failures are fatal.

We can go through a life full of brick walls that are of our own making, or we can create our own reality by taking the simple yet powerful step of eliminating thoughts of lack and limitation. Whenever these thoughts start to become a part of our mindset, we recognize them; we release them, and we replace them with the truth of unlimited possibilities.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

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A Road Less Traveled

I’ve written a lot about mindset and how much it influences our lives. Embracing a positive mindset is empowering but it requires us to establish new thought patterns. I thought it might be helpful to catalog some of the more common things that we may say from time to time, and offer an alternative. I find that when I intentionally pay attention to what I say verbally and silently, I catch myself before I go down the “negative road.” But if I don’t pay attention, it’s easy to end up there.

“I never have enough time.” Each of us has the same amount of time. It’s all about how we prioritize. I now say, “I have time to do what I choose.” Notice that I’m in control now rather than allowing myself to be tugged and pulled along the river of life.

“I just can’t win.” There’s no way we can win if we affirm defeat from the start. How about this instead? “I will continue to do whatever is necessary until I win.” There’s a hint of perseverance in this statement . . . which often is the secret ingredient to winning.

“I’m sick.” We all probably hear this quite often. In fact, we’ve most likely said it once or twice (or more). But again, why would we want to affirm something so negative? Here’s an alternative. “I see myself as healthy and whole.” Perhaps we are feeling a bit under the weather, but aren’t we better off affirming a positive vision of ourselves?

“I’m struggling with my finances and never have any money.” To allow good things to come our way we need to shed all thoughts of lack and limitation. Why? Because they block the flow of the positive energy we need to be prosperous. This statement (said with gusto!) will fully open the fire hydrant of creative energy. “Abundance is mine and I claim it!

“Something bad is going to happen, I just know it.” Hmmm. I know that I’ve been guilty of self-fulfilling prophecies and this one sure qualifies. It’s as simple as this. If we expect something bad to happen, it probably will. “I expect everything to proceed in perfect order and visualize the end result that I am seeking.” There’s no better way to inoculate ourselves from negativity than with a strong positive affirmation such as this.

“I don’t understand why so-and-so is treating me this way. It’s so unfair.” Conflict with others can lead to a feeling of victimization . . . if we let it. The truth is, we’re only victims of our own mindset, and that’s something we can control. When we are willing to take responsibility for our own actions we’ll say, “I am going to make a positive difference in the lives I touch.”

Yes, it’s possible that these positive statements may sound hokey. But here’s the point. The only way to break out of an undesirable mindset is to replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations that we really believe. The best way to accomplish this is to understand exactly what we say that we want to change, and then be prepared with our replacement thoughts. Having practiced this for years, I can tell you that I still catch myself moving in the wrong direction at times. But that’s the key – we catch ourselves and move back into a positive state of mind.

Life is too short to live in anything but a positive mindset. For me the “negative road” has become a road less traveled. I see this as so for you too.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

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Resolute

Question: It’s time for another New Year’s resolution.

Answer: Over the past year I’ve written a great deal about how the mindset we have means everything. For the coming year I resolve to hold a positive and productive mindset about everything and everyone. We’ve all heard that our minds are incredibly powerful. Undoubtedly we’ve seen numerous examples of how this impacts our lives and the lives of others – so we know it works. Our opportunity in the New Year is to commit to put this into practice.

If I encounter a health challenge of some sort, I will hold a positive and productive mindset to see myself as healthy and whole. I know that the power of my mind will enable my body to heal. A negative mindset will block the healing process.

If I face difficulties in my relationships I will hold a positive and productive mindset to bring about peace and harmony. When negative thoughts about another person creep into my mind, I will recognize them; release them, and replace them with positive thoughts.

Should I face financial difficulties I will hold a positive and productive mindset in order to find the right and perfect solution. This will give me insight into a window of creativity that will lead me to a state of abundance and prosperity. Negative thinking will constrict the creative flow that I need.

When I find myself in a funk I know that this can turn into frustration. I will hold a positive and productive mindset in order to become relaxed and refreshed. Frustration is pure negative energy and will prevent me from returning to a place of balance and order.

If I experience fear, I know that a positive and productive mindset will allow me to shine a light into the shadows and chase the fear away. Negativity and fear are twin siblings and I have no use for them.

I am solely responsible for my own thoughts and I accept the consequences of those thoughts. I know that positive thoughts produce positive results and negative thoughts produce negative results. Thus, I make the choice to hold a positive and productive mindset in order to live a happy and successful life. The equation is simple and straightforward.

Happy New Year!

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

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The Circle

Question: Giving it away makes me feel good. But I’m told that being able to receive is just as important. I don’t get it.

Answer: I will confess at the outset that this is not my strong suit. Part of my personal growth is learning how to receive. I love to give of my time, talent and treasure but it feels weird in some instances when I’m put in a position of receiving. I’ve wondered if for some reason this has something to do with my feelings of self-worth. For some this could be an issue, but for me I don’t think it is the reason as much as my upbringing. My parents taught me to be humble and not draw attention to myself. They modeled this for my sister and me and we learned it well. But it has resulted in my struggle with being on the receiving end.

I can tell you that the “old tapes” are playing in my head big-time when I receive an unexpected gift. And when I receive recognition of some sort I often feel a bit embarrassed. Contrast this with how I feel when I give to others – even if it’s anonymously. Now that’s a real high for me!

Here’s something important that I’ve discovered about giving. Receiving completes the circle. And when we fail to receive with the proper mindset, we’re creating a blockage for the good things that are destined to come to us. Confused? I’ve said over and over that the more we give the more we receive – it’s just the way it works. And yet, if we have trouble receiving then how do we realize our good? I think part of my problem with this has been that I have a false concern that others might view the way I receive as arrogance or braggadocio. The lesson I’m learning is that if we receive our good in a humble and appreciative manner and properly express our heartfelt gratitude then our integrity remains intact. And we always must remember that when we give, we do so without any quid pro quo expectations. We give from our hearts. But we know that we will receive – something, sometime and somewhere – in bigger and better ways than we can ever imagine.

Giving and receiving is one of life’s endless circles. By being able to embrace receiving as much as we do giving helps us to complete that circle over and over.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

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Grrrrrrreat!

Question: Is there a secret formula for “greatness?” Some people seem to be destined that way. The rest of us . . . I’m not so sure sometimes.

Answer: Think about the people who you might consider being great – they can be living or dead. Who do you include? Albert Einstein? George Washington? Jonas Salk? Mother Teresa? What do all of these people have in common? They were all human beings, just like you and me. Each of them faced trials and tribulations similar to our own. None of them set out to be great. So just how did they rise to the level of respect and achievement that they did?

Each of these great people worked hard to live to their full potential. No one actually does this completely. But some people seem to get closer than others. So what does this say about mankind? We all are meant to do great things. When I was a child my parents pushed me hard to be better. My teachers did the same. On the basketball court my coaches rode me hard. There were times when I resented this but as an adult I realize that each parent, teacher and coach saw that I had potential and wanted me to achieve it. I attribute some of my success to having these people believe in me and encourage me to reach for the stars.

Some of us weren’t pushed as hard during our formative years as was I. So how do we do great things? Here’s the formula:

(Big Dreams + Risk Something) + (Resilience + Perseverance) + Positivity = Greatness

We can’t do great things if we don’t dream big dreams. Why don’t more people dream bigger? Because often there is risk involved or they don’t believe they can realize their dreams. But when we dream big and we put ourselves at risk, then we have a chance to make a real difference. And there’s no doubt that when we do both of these things we may not always succeed immediately. So it’s imperative that we bounce back and keep on trying. In the immortal words of Winston Churchill – we never, ever, ever, ever, ever give up. Finally we must maintain a positive outlook on everything we’re doing. Negativity blocks the flow of positive energy that we need to make the formula work. There’s one word that describes all of this . . . mindset. Great people who do great things have a great mindset.

You and I can have a great mindset. It requires practice every single day. Our DNA is programmed for us to do great things. When our mindset is in the right place, our greatness will manifest.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

Einstein