Tag Archives: sensitive

The Sensitive Entrepreneur

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We have all known hard-charging Type A entrepreneurs who have a “take no prisoners” attitude. These people are the doers. They are decisive and they know how to execute. But sometimes there is a downside to this sort of personality. Yes, sometimes those of us who are very driven may tend to be insensitive. This usually is not intentional but nonetheless it can have a detrimental effect on our team members and the culture we are trying to build.

There are many ways that insensitivity can manifest. It can be as direct as making derogatory or belittling comments to as subtle as failing to acknowledge someone with a friendly greeting in the morning. Think about an exchange like this. Team member – “I’d like to volunteer to work with Jim on the Norton project.” Entrepreneur – “No, you just need to stay focused on what you are doing.” While it may be absolutely true that the team member needs to keep doing what she’s doing, the way the entrepreneur delivered the message could be construed as insensitive. A different selection of words would make all the difference. How about this instead? “Jan – thanks for the offer. Your project is critically important, and I am counting on you to get it wrapped up. But I will take a rain check on having you help with the next one.” This statement acknowledges the team member with an expression of appreciation and affirms her value. And it gives her hope that she will be given another opportunity in the future.

So, how do we develop the appropriate level of sensitivity without going so far as to sing Kumbaya all the time? There is a very simple method that I have learned over the years. I will admit to once-upon-a-time being the insensitive Type A hard-charger that was described in the opening paragraph. I justified my behavior by believing that I was simply being expedient in my dealings with others. After all, I was moving at 100 miles an hour and the quicker I could get through with one meeting the sooner I could move on to the next. But I gradually became aware that my people skills were suffering. I was not doing anything to cultivate relationships or goodwill. Eventually I developed a new awareness by just putting myself in the other person’s shoes. How would I feel if someone spoke to me a certain way; said something in a certain manner, or failed to somehow acknowledge me?

The key is to practice, practice and constantly practice. I try to pay attention to how everyone around me feels. In a restaurant, I want to make sure that the wait staff are properly appreciated. At the office I try to make eye contact with members of our team as I walk by and greet each one of them. I pay attention to the language that I use, going the extra mile to avoid careless statements that could be misconstrued. Again, I am always testing what I say or do against the basic premise of how I would want to be treated if I were the other person. After a while it becomes very intuitive.

The mark of a good leader is how he or she treats others. Running roughshod or being humble and sensitive? The choice is easy when walking a mile in another’s shoes.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

The Unoffended Entrepreneur

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We live in a hypersensitive society today. It appears every time we turn around someone is being offended by something. It may be words, actions, facial expressions or even the way someone looks. The whole notion of being offended stems from a belief that we are somehow victims. Victims of what, I’m not sure. But our culture is at a point where it promotes victimhood and all that goes with it. This is a very dangerous place for entrepreneurs to be.

Many of us Baby Boomers raised our children in an environment where everybody wins and there were no losers. I remember sporting events in which our daughters participated, and each child received a ribbon or a small trophy. Obviously in the real world there are winners and losers yet somehow, losing has become linked with victimization. I’m not saying that this is the sole reason for the hypersensitivity we are experiencing but it may be a contributing factor.

Entrepreneurs are in a tough spot. On the one hand we want to be sufficiently sensitive to saying or doing things that others could perceive as a slight. And yet we are in a rough and tumble business world that takes no prisoners. Unfortunately, it’s not enough to simply treat others as we would like to be treated. I’ve grown thick skin over the years and as others will attest, it’s hard to offend me. A few years ago, I took a computerized test that measured resilience among several traits and tendencies. My score was 97 out of 100 which I’m told indicates that I have very strong self-acceptance. My point in sharing is to demonstrate that I may be somewhat oblivious to attempts by others to offend me. So, what to do?

First, we need to measure our intent when we are interacting with others. Do we say certain things to another person because we want to make them feel inferior? Do we take certain actions because we want to “send a message” to a specific individual that we expect could result in hurt feelings? A compassionate leader will communicate honestly and openly while doing so with sufficient empathy. His or her ego will be eliminated from the interaction. If our intent is pure and we’ve separated from our ego, then it is less likely that we will offend someone.

Second, it’s important to understand what behavior is unacceptable. This is especially challenging from a generational perspective. A young female colleague of mine was at a luncheon recently. She shared that she sat next to an older man (Boomer generation) who was nice but commented as they were leaving that he was pleased to have been able to sit next to such an attractive young woman. My colleague was not offended but related that she thought the comment was unnecessary and inappropriate. What was intended as a compliment by an older man was interpreted as mild condescension by a younger woman. While I doubt that it was his intent to be condescending, it was clear that he has not learned that you just don’t say things like this.

I’m not advocating for political correctness. We’ve gone completely overboard with PC and it’s causing huge problems in our country. But I do think that we need to pay closer attention to how we might be perceived by others. And let’s do our own gut check. Do we find ourselves being offended with any frequency? If so, we might benefit from exploring what we see when we look in the mirror. Do we have a positive or negative self-image? Are we preoccupied with conflict or feelings of inferiority? If so, we may be prone to being easily offended.

As entrepreneurs we must develop thick skin through a strongly positive self-image. At the same time, we need to measure our intent when interacting with others as well as understand what is unacceptable to society. Doing so will minimize the likelihood that we will offend others.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

The Woke Entrepreneur

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If you think this blog is going to wade into the political morass of what has been termed as “wokeness” in society, well, that’s not going to happen. The Woke Entrepreneur I’m about to describe is a totally different kind of “woke.” Instead, I should probably use the term “Awakened Entrepreneur.”

The Awakened Entrepreneur has a number of traits and tendencies. For starters he/she is a visionary and has a clear idea of what the future looks like. This person understands how critical it is to communicate this vision in such a way that everyone in the organization knows “what it looks like where they get there.”

The Awakened Entrepreneur is a “Culture Builder.” I’ve said it before that every organization has a culture – either intentional or unintentional. Strong sustainable companies have intentional cultures that have been developed and refined over a period of years. A great leader believes in the culture and tirelessly supports and promotes it because it creates a solid foundation on which a company relies.

The Awakened Entrepreneur is authentic. There are no hidden agendas with this person. He or she is comfortable in their own skin and sees no need to put on airs or present a fake façade. The Awakened Entrepreneur exudes honesty and integrity. When someone meets this person, they instantly feel a high level of trust and honor. This genuineness can create the kind of reputation which every organization aspires to. We’ve all seen leaders who are known to be conniving and crafty – and their company is viewed in the same light.

The Awakened Entrepreneur is sensitive to the feelings of others. He or she is always looking for ways to support every member of the team. When corrective action is needed, this person does so with warm candor. He/she does not criticize publicly instead choosing to coach in private and without demonstrations of anger or hostility.

The Awakened Entrepreneur does not seek the limelight but deflects it in favor of other team members. This is yet another example of how this person is comfortable with himself/herself and does not need kudos or adulation. He/she builds up others by making certain they receive credit and recognition for their good work. Further, the Awakened Entrepreneur is quick to own his/her mistakes and never “throws anyone under bus.” In fact, this leader will take responsibility for errors and failures on behalf of the organization. There is no finger pointing by the Awakened Entrepreneur.

The Awakened Entrepreneur sets a good example for others. He/she demonstrates the desired work ethic and lives the organization’s core values. This person understands that the entire team is watching and his/her actions speak louder than words. You’ll never see this person getting drunk at the company Christmas party or having an inappropriate relationship with another member of the team. This leader never asks someone to do something that he or she wouldn’t do himself/herself.

The Awakened Entrepreneur is the eternal optimist and remains positive no matter the situation. While others may be disappointed in circumstance or outcome, this leader will always look for – and find – the silver lining. He or she understands that the psyche of the organization rises or falls with his/her mindset.

Yes, the Awakened Entrepreneur is many things – a visionary, a culture builder, authentic, sensitive to others, shuns the spotlight, sets a good example, and is always positive. Maybe this will some day become the new definition of “woke.”

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.