About anentrepreneurswords

R. Lee Harris grew up in Manhattan, Kansas and has lived in the Kansas City area since 1977. A 1975 graduate of Kansas State University, Harris began his career with Cohen-Esrey, LLC as an apartment manager two weeks after he graduated. Now president and CEO, he is involved in apartment management, development and investment; construction and tax credit syndication on a nationwide scale. Over the course of his career Harris has overseen the management of more than 27 million square feet of office building, shopping center and industrial space and nearly 60,000 multi-family units. He has started dozens of business enterprises over the past 40+ years. In 1991, Harris wrote a book entitled, The Customer Is King! published by Quality Press of Milwaukee. In 2012 he authored the book, An Entrepreneur's Words to Live By. He has mentored a number of business people over the years and has been a long-time participant in the Helzberg Entrepreneurial Mentoring Program. He and his wife Barb have two grown daughters and one grandson. They are active in their church, community and university.

The Road to Riches

Posted on August 17, 2014 by anentrepreneurswords

Early in my career I did a lot of planning – especially financial planning. I had it all figured out that by a certain age I would be earning a certain income and projected how that amount would grow over time. I obsessed over my calculations and created spreadsheets to track my progress. Back in the day this sort of focus was what you did if you wanted to succeed. Or so I thought. Unfortunately I didn’t have anyone to tell me that there was a better way.

Did I achieve my income goals? For the most part the answer is yes. But what I discovered as I got older, more experienced and wiser, is that this approach was actually limiting me. So how you ask, could prudent planning become limiting? And the answer is elegantly simple. By focusing on a specific amount of income that I desired, I was subliminally telling myself that I really didn’t want any more than that amount. My various income-generating strategies were aimed at achieving the target amount and nothing more.

Fast forward to today. I’ve learned a lot. For starters, I no longer accept the limitations created by chasing a specific dollar amount. Instead I’ve learned to be open to all creative possibilities. I’ve learned not to place restrictions on my potential. I now focus on being much more strategic and much less tactical. It’s now more about service to others than others serving me. When the money no longer is the primary focus it’s amazing how much more prosperous we can become. I still look at the money but only as part of a risk-reward equation – something all entrepreneurs should consider.

Here’s something else I learned. Get rich quick schemes lead to disappointment. Playing the lottery or trying to earn a few extra bucks playing cards is not a winning hand in life. Hard work is also overrated when it comes to financial satisfaction – believe me, I’m an expert on the hard work subject. Smart work is more likely to lead to financial security and independence.

So how does one work smarter? I’ve written many times about how important it is for us to know our WHY. Another way of putting this is to understand what we are passionate about. Why do we do what we do? What makes us tick? What do we love to do so much that we’d do it regardless of whether or not we were paid? When we are living our passion we aren’t chasing financial riches. Our focus is on the process of staying in the passion zone. And one of the byproducts of this approach is that monetary rewards will come our way – sometimes effortlessly. If we’re just working to earn a living, that’s all we’ll do. If we’re working because what we’re doing is interwoven with our passion, positive results will flow to us – financial and otherwise.

When we let go of our limiting money dreams and pursue our bigger and grander dreams we are able to live our passion. And when we live our passion, through our creative energy we will discover infinite possibilities for good in our lives.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

Brick Walls

Posted on August 10, 2014 by anentrepreneurswords

Let’s count brick walls. They are everywhere. We encounter them at work and at home. We find them in our personal and business relationships. Brick walls seem to be a part of our lives. But do they need to be?

We tend to be great masons and build some very elaborate and impregnable brick walls. The brick walls to which I refer are the limitations that we impose upon ourselves. Sometimes we believe that these limitations are imposed by others but if we really examine them closely, they are more often than not, self-imposed. It is critical for us as entrepreneurs to avoid allowing thoughts of lack or limitation to creep into our psyches.

Let’s look at some of the things we speak to ourselves and say to others. Anytime a sentence contains the words “I can’t,” “I don’t” or “I won’t” there’s a strong possibility that limitations are in play. Certainly there are some limitations that are rational and necessary – I’m not talking about those. Thoughts of lack and limitation that prevent us from achieving our greatest potential and success are what we need to train ourselves to eliminate.

I can recall several times over the course of my career where a rookie entered the commercial real estate business and completed a series of amazing transactions. Everyone looked at each other and said, “How did he do it?” Well, I know how. This rookie didn’t know what he didn’t know. Make sense? In other words, he didn’t know to place limitations on himself that many veterans of the industry had imposed upon themselves. As a result, he made cold calls on clients that others thought to be untouchable or intractable. And guess what? He got deals done.

Why do we limit ourselves in the first place? Often it is the result of fear or a lack of knowledge. Analyze the following statement. “I can’t pursue that business opportunity because I don’t have the money to do so.” This statement contains both the “I can’t” and “I don’t” negative affirmations which will probably result in this person not pursuing the business opportunity. Most likely the underlying reason for the statement is that this person either has a fear about the business opportunity – perhaps it’s a fear of failure – or he/she simply doesn’t know how to find the money needed. Regardless, the opportunity won’t be pursued because this person has built a brick wall around it.

So, what’s the truth? We have a choice to either create reality or face reality. If we choose to create our reality, we can do so by removing all thoughts of lack and limitation. We tap into our creative energy and identify the resources that we need to succeed. We pursue that business opportunity because we find a way to raise the money that is needed. In several of the companies with which I’m involved, we regularly complete apartment developments and acquisitions utilizing very complex financial structures. We’ve rescued many a deal from the scrap heap because we not only have the knowledge to figure out how to make them work, but we also have no fear of failure. Do we fail? Sure we do. But our failures are simply steps toward our ultimate end goal. And we manage our risk so that none of our failures are fatal.

We can go through a life full of brick walls that are of our own making, or we can create our own reality by taking the simple yet powerful step of eliminating thoughts of lack and limitation. Whenever these thoughts start to become a part of our mindset, we recognize them; we release them, and we replace them with the truth of unlimited possibilities.

Chronicles of a Loser

Posted on August 3, 2014 by anentrepreneurswords

Entrepreneurs absolutely do not like to lose. We’re winners at heart. But there’s one kind of a loss that is actually an enormous win. Give up? Let me give you some background. When I got married in January 1974, I was 19 years old; was 6’4” tall and weighed 150 pounds. It took many years before I “filled out.” But something else happened. The filling out didn’t stop. In August 2012, my weight had ballooned to 289 pounds! I had actually begun to make healthier choices in the years preceding this date and at one point had dropped to 245 pounds. But somehow the pounds I had lost were found again.

Carrying too much weight had a number of unsatisfactory consequences for me. My cholesterol and triglycerides were higher than they should be. My blood sugar was elevated and when I vacationed in the Colorado mountains, I huffed and puffed (and wheezed) just walking into a restaurant. My left knee had been weak for years and the extra weight exacerbated the issue. Finally, my clothes fit tightly and the size of my stomach was an embarrassment. A little voice in my head began screaming, “You are a prime candidate for a heart attack!”

To change a destructive behavior we usually need an “aha” moment. Sometimes it IS a heart attack that provides the wake-up call . . . assuming that we wake up afterwards. In August 2012 my “aha” moment was not so dramatic, but it was just as powerful. My oldest grandson was six years of age at the time and his daddy isn’t in the picture. He definitely needs a father figure in his life – a role that I had been filling. The realization that I might not be around when he needed me most hit me like a sledgehammer. But I knew that a diet would not work. And I knew that if the pounds came off too fast, the weight loss wouldn’t last. Thus I embarked upon a complete lifestyle change that has become permanent.

I have always exercised and in August 2012, I was lifting weights three days each week and about 30-minutes of cardio five days a week. Today, in August 2014, I exercise seven days a week for a total of 10 hours. My cardio consists of walking at a pretty good pace – last week I walked nearly 32 miles. A personal trainer adjusts my weight lifting routine every five weeks – something I still do three days each week. And I’ve become addicted to the Fitbit®, a wearable device that tracks my steps, calorie burn, sleep pattern, etc. The goal is to walk 10,000 steps each day – I’m usually achieving 14,000 – 16,000 steps daily.

I love the way I eat. I gave up sugar in 2006; have eliminated dairy, and am mostly gluten-free. The biggest difference maker was cutting out the carbohydrates – mainly the simple carbs. I eat a lot of protein – a cardiologist told me I could eat as much red meat as I wanted – provided I continued doing everything else I am doing. Thanks to the Fitbit® I am able to log everything I eat into a computer program that calculates the number of calories I am consuming. The awareness of calories in vs. calories out has helped me fine tune my food consumption. And I owe a huge debt of gratitude to a medical professional who specializes in blood chemistry and prescribes an extensive regimen of supplements based upon my blood work every four months.

Today, I now weigh 218 pounds – a loss of 71 pounds in two years. I am within eight pounds of the target weight my doctor and I agreed upon. I feel stronger and healthier than at any time in decades. I’ve made excellent progress with my blood work and have been able to eliminate several prescribed medications. My knee doesn’t hurt anymore. My bank account is smaller as a result of the constant tinkering with my wardrobe – stuff just doesn’t fit – but that’s I problem I can live with. My stomach bulge is nearly gone. People who haven’t seen me for a while tell me that the change in appearance is dramatic. A recent scan showed an exceptionally low plaque build-up in the primary arteries of my heart muscle. I have seemingly dodged the proverbial bullet. And my chances of being around for a long time to support BOTH of my grandsons seem pretty good.

I’m glad I paid attention to my “aha” moment. I’m glad I found the way to be healthy that is just right for me. I’m glad I found the tools that I needed to help me with my journey. There’s no turning back. I’m not the least bit concerned about any backsliding because my LIFE has changed permanently. Perhaps you have something in your life that you want to change permanently. I’m a walking testament to the truth that you absolutely can.

Visually Unimpaired

Posted on July 27, 2014 by anentrepreneurswords

What does success look like for you? Is it something material? Is it a relationship or something intangible? What are you doing to achieve this success? How strongly do you believe that you can achieve it? How badly do you want it? What would you say if I told you that you can absolutely stack the deck in your favor? If it sounds like I’m selling swampland think again.

Success is not so much an end result as it is a constant state of mind. When we see success as an end result we may have a tendency to believe that we are less than successful during the time we’re working toward the end result. Think about it this way. Suppose we want to close a really significant transaction and it takes a long time to do so. Perhaps there are a lot of blood, sweat and tears along the way. A natural human reaction might be, “I know this transaction is going to be hard and I’ll make large sacrifices to complete it. But in the end, all the pain and suffering will be worth it.” There is an implication in this statement that we won’t be successful until the transaction is closed. I submit that this does not have to be the case.

We can visualize our success from the outset. Visualization is another form of affirmation and you’ve heard me talk before about how powerful positive affirmations can be. So how does it work? Let’s use the example of a significant transaction described in the preceding paragraph. We begin by sitting quietly and formulating exactly what the desired end result will be. It’s important that we be as specific and detailed as possible. Where will the closing take place? Will other people be there? Is there a specific date and day of the week that this will occur? Once all the details are discovered we are then in a position to begin the visualization process.

“Today, Tuesday, July 22^nd, begins with a clear blue sky and bright sunshine. A closing meeting with the buyer is scheduled for 11:00 AM. I am wearing my black pin-striped suit with a purple tie. As I walk into the boardroom I am greeted by James, my attorney; Todd, the attorney for the buyer; Susan, the buyer; Fred, the buyer’s banker; Linda, my banker, and John who is a consultant I work with. All parties have big smiles on their faces. A three-inch pile of documents is neatly stacked on the highly-polished mahogany conference table. We make short work of signing the documents at which point Fred hands me a cashier’s check in the amount of $2,500,000. I hold the check for a moment before sliding it across the table to Linda to deposit in my account. We all shake hands and then depart to the Capitol Grille for a celebratory luncheon.”

By visualizing our success in such vivid detail, we are setting the stage for it to become reality. Before we go to sleep at night, we allow this visualization to permeate our mind and being. When we awaken, we see the same vision. This becomes a pattern that allows us to celebrate our impending success every single day. We feel the joy of closing the transaction a multitude of times – to the point that it is a fait accompli. No longer do we have any doubts about whether it will happen for we’ve already seen it over and over. I challenge you to try this. You can’t stick a toe in the water. You must jump in cannonball-style. Do it with your clothes on! Visualize with abandon and the results will be spectacular.

We are destined to succeed if we believe without condition. And we can believe without condition when we see our success being repeated in our mind’s eye.

A Road Less Traveled

Posted on July 20, 2014 by anentrepreneurswords

I’ve written a lot about mindset and how much it influences our lives. Embracing a positive mindset is empowering but it requires us to establish new thought patterns. I thought it might be helpful to catalog some of the more common things that we may say from time to time, and offer an alternative. I find that when I intentionally pay attention to what I say verbally and silently, I catch myself before I go down the “negative road.” But if I don’t pay attention, it’s easy to end up there.

“I never have enough time.” Each of us has the same amount of time. It’s all about how we prioritize. I now say, “I have time to do what I choose.” Notice that I’m in control now rather than allowing myself to be tugged and pulled along the river of life.

“I just can’t win.” There’s no way we can win if we affirm defeat from the start. How about this instead? “I will continue to do whatever is necessary until I win.” There’s a hint of perseverance in this statement . . . which often is the secret ingredient to winning.

“I’m sick.” We all probably hear this quite often. In fact, we’ve most likely said it once or twice (or more). But again, why would we want to affirm something so negative? Here’s an alternative. “I see myself as healthy and whole.” Perhaps we are feeling a bit under the weather, but aren’t we better off affirming a positive vision of ourselves?

“I’m struggling with my finances and never have any money.” To allow good things to come our way we need to shed all thoughts of lack and limitation. Why? Because they block the flow of the positive energy we need to be prosperous. This statement (said with gusto!) will fully open the fire hydrant of creative energy. “Abundance is mine and I claim it!”

“Something bad is going to happen, I just know it.” Hmmm. I know that I’ve been guilty of self-fulfilling prophecies and this one sure qualifies. It’s as simple as this. If we expect something bad to happen, it probably will. “I expect everything to proceed in perfect order and visualize the end result that I am seeking.” There’s no better way to inoculate ourselves from negativity than with a strong positive affirmation such as this.

“I don’t understand why so-and-so is treating me this way. It’s so unfair.” Conflict with others can lead to a feeling of victimization . . . if we let it. The truth is, we’re only victims of our own mindset, and that’s something we can control. When we are willing to take responsibility for our own actions we’ll say, “I am going to make a positive difference in the lives I touch.”

Yes, it’s possible that these positive statements may sound hokey. But here’s the point. The only way to break out of an undesirable mindset is to replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations that we really believe. The best way to accomplish this is to understand exactly what we say that we want to change, and then be prepared with our replacement thoughts. Having practiced this for years, I can tell you that I still catch myself moving in the wrong direction at times. But that’s the key – we catch ourselves and move back into a positive state of mind.

Life is too short to live in anything but a positive mindset. For me the “negative road” has become a road less traveled. I see this as so for you too.

Staying Away From the Cliff

Posted on July 13, 2014 by anentrepreneurswords

What is your reaction when you hear the word “debate?” Is this code for conflict? Entrepreneurs and humankind in general are inclined to try and persuade others to see their point of view. Unfortunately the art of debate has been stigmatized by what happens in the political arena. Political debate has degenerated into something far removed from the honorable tradition of true debate. Sometimes in our business and daily lives what is being termed as “debate” is also something much less noble.

I remember taking debate classes in school. We were taught to construct factual arguments to support our position on an issue. In college my favorite class of all time was Logic. It was fascinating to listen to the professor walk us through various arguments that were commonplace in society and show us where the logic broke down. To effectively persuade and convince others to make decisions that we want them to make, it is helpful to frame our argument in solid facts and logic. To clarify, I’m not using the term “argument” in the “argumentative” sense but rather in the context of a thesis.

Every time I read an article that might contain an element of controversy, I always think of my old college professor as I read the comments. There is often a lot of emotion on a particular subject which may result in ad hominem attacks, name calling and a loss of decorum. Usually when this happens, the offending party has already lost the debate because he/she can’t offer a logical opposing position supported by facts.

In my opinion, the components of a healthy debate include a willingness to lay out one’s position in logical and factual manner; the ability to listen to and understand a contrary position without interruption; the ability to politely use facts and logic to counter the contrary position, and at the end of the day, the willingness to have respect for the person making the contrary argument. In other words, smile and shake hands when it’s all said and done. We may or may not persuade the other person to see our point of view and vice versa, but we avoided falling off the emotional cliff.

The emotional cliff is a dangerous place to be for entrepreneurs. I would much rather persuade someone to agree with my position on something using facts and logic, than appealing to their emotions. Using emotional appeal is another term for manipulation. Business does this every day through marketing a myriad of products and services. But often the person being persuaded is left dissatisfied with the overall experience when he/she realizes the product or service may not meet his/her needs. The feeling of manipulation has a long shelf-life, whether in a marketing or sales sense, or when making decisions based upon the arguments made in debate.

Debate and persuasion that are fact and logic-based can build positive and lasting relationships. When we aspire to stay above the emotional fray we win every time in so many ways.

Keep the Change

Posted on July 6, 2014 by anentrepreneurswords

I once heard a saying that when one door closes another opens . . . but until then it’s hell in the hallway. Doors opening and closing are metaphors representing change. However there’s no discussion in these analogies about who is opening and closing the doors. Perhaps that’s where we ought to start our discussion.

I’m a pretty boring guy. I’ve been married to the same woman since 1974; lived my passion with the same company since 1975, and resided in the same house since 1978. But that’s where the constancy ends. Most of my business life has been about change and much of my personal life has been as well. Where some people see change as foreboding, I wholeheartedly embrace it. Why? Because I’ve generally found that change leads to bigger and better things – whatever they might be – and especially when I’m instigating the change in the first place!

As you might imagine, I’m going to suggest that how change impacts us starts with our mindset. Many see change as the start of a transition from one thing to another. Perhaps a broader view would be to see change as a transformation. To me, transitions are a bit mundane. But transformations are exciting and offer countless possibilities. Think about your own life. Do you want it to be a transition – almost plodding from one circumstance to the next? Or do you want your life to be transformed from something lesser to something greater? Assuming we only go around once in this amazing journey, don’t we want the experience to be as expansive as possible?

I’m not advocating change for change sake. But I am suggesting that seeing change as an opportunity for transformation has many inherent rewards. It inspires us to think much more creatively than we would if we are seeing change in a transitional manner. It nudges us out of our comfort zone which adds to the richness of our lives. It allows us to move past some of the fears that have been holding us back. And transformation immerses us in multi-dimensional options and alternatives from which to choose. Lest you think this is an exercise in the abstract, allow me to illustrate it in more concrete terms.

Let’s suppose that you are an entrepreneur with a product that has seen a steady decline in sales over the past few years. You sell other products that do fine, but this particular item just isn’t cutting it. Your team has pushed all the right buttons but the needle isn’t moving. The transitional approach might be to simply dump the product and move on. This would represent a change from the status quo – a sad, but common footnote in the history of products that eventually failed. On the other hand, a transformational approach might be to acknowledge the failure of the product, but to use it as a springboard to look at your overall product line from top-to-bottom. Could the same fate befall any of your other product items? Why exactly did this particular product fail? What is the lesson to be learned from its failure and how can that be translated into something positive for the rest of your products? In the end, this single product failure could become the catalyst for a complete transformation of your entire product offering, making your company stronger and able to gain additional market share.

Change can be viewed as a transition or a transformation. We make the choice to pick which path we want to follow.

Sleepless in Seattle

Posted on June 29, 2014 by anentrepreneurswords

I’m going to briefly describe a scenario to see if it sounds at all familiar to you. Here goes. Your day was particularly stressful and things didn’t go the way you wanted. A fairly major and troublesome issue is unresolved and needs fixing immediately. You go to bed with the weight of your day still front and center. While you toss and turn your mind churns with thoughts from the day. Twenty minutes go by. You stare at the ceiling. Fifty minutes have passed and you might have faded in and out but you don’t know for sure. At some point during the night you awaken, realizing your dreams are becoming beyond weird. Then that troublesome issue starts its nocturnal carousing. I have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of heads are nodding right now.

We all have obviously experienced what I described above. There are a number of emotions driving this response including anxiety, fear, frustration, anger and guilt. Isn’t it interesting that it’s usually the negative stuff that keeps us awake at night? Think about it. We generally don’t stay awake because we are feeling euphoria, happiness, joy, peace or gratitude. When we’re “Sleepless in Seattle” it’s a sure bet that we won’t get a good night’s sleep and wake up refreshed the next morning. So what to do?

I have self-developed a technique that works very well for me and perhaps it will be helpful for you as well. I call it the three Rs – Relax, Release and Replace. Relax may sound trite, but it’s absolutely necessary. OK, you say, how am I supposed to relax when I’m all balled up inside? Start with a bedtime routine. Try and go to bed at the same time every night. Watch what you eat and drink within two or three hours of going to bed. Practice meditating to clear your mind. When you go to bed, be very aware of your breathing. See that it becomes slow, measured and deep.

Now that you are in somewhat of a relaxed state it’s time to Release. Recently I woke up in the middle of the night as I usually do to take a pill and make the journey to the bathroom. Normally I go right back to sleep, but this particular night my mind went into overdrive. The issue stemmed from a nasty surprise in one of my businesses that could have proven to be very expensive. In the past I might have allowed my thoughts to spin out of control and ultimately begin envisioning the worst possible scenarios. But this time I said to myself, “Lee, you are not going to solve this tonight. It will still be there in the morning and you will need a fresh perspective which you won’t have if you stay awake for the next four hours.” Then I smiled and went back to sleep because I knew this to be the truth.

Finally it’s time for the last step . . . Replace. Once you’ve released the thoughts that are keeping you awake, replace them with positive thoughts. One of my favorite places in the whole world is on the side of a fairly steep hill on a Caribbean island overlooking the ocean with a clear blue sky and the sun’s light flooding every inch of the experience. It’s not hard for me to bring this vision into my consciousness which makes me feel very warm and safe. Falling asleep at that point is a breeze.

Lying awake and churning a problem – large or small – generally accomplishes nothing. Creative solutions are inspired by healthy sleep and a clear head. Consistently using the Three Rs technique puts us on a successful path toward accomplishing this.

Own It

Posted on June 22, 2014 by anentrepreneurswords

When things go wrong there’s a pretty strong chance that human nature will cause a very specific reaction. And what do you suppose that reaction will often be? Yes, someone will be blamed. “It’s his fault” is simply another way of playing the victim card. As entrepreneurs we should resist allowing ourselves to be drawn into the blame mentality.

As children we often would blame our siblings for our own transgressions. Fortunately (though unfortunately at the time) my parents didn’t buy into my efforts to shift responsibility away from myself. A withering look from my mother was all it took for the blame to shift right back where it belonged. Perhaps it was this grounding effect that taught me to be accountable for my actions – right or wrong.

We damage our credibility as leaders when we blame others. When I’m speaking with someone from another company about something that went wrong, I lose respect for that person if he or she doesn’t take responsibility in the “organizational we” sense. Let me explain. I’ve gotten calls before about a glitch in our customer service. It would have been very easy to say something like, “Mary Manager failed to do her job and I’ll see that she is disciplined.” Instead, I want everyone in our organization to know that I have their backs. When I get those calls I say, “I’m sorry your customer experience was unsatisfactory. Clearly we should have done better. We’ll see that the matter is rectified as soon as possible.” If Mary Manager really caused the problem we’ll make sure to privately counsel with her and make sure she has the proper tools and perspective to avoid a repeat of the mistake. But internally and externally we won’t point our finger at her.

As entrepreneurs and leaders, we need to own our mistakes and be comfortable doing so. Recently I failed to properly communicate in a situation that caused some heartburn for a client. Upon realizing my error, I quickly sent an e-mail falling on my sword and taking full responsibility for my inadequate communications. Then I called him and apologized personally. I have a philosophy that mistakes are experiments in the laboratory of life. If we are properly prepared we usually don’t make them. But when we do, we admit and amend. Quickly acknowledging a mistake; apologizing for it, and taking the necessary steps to remedy it actually builds customer loyalty. It also builds loyalty with team members.

Refusing to play the blame game demonstrates real leadership and engenders respect. We can model this for others when we accept responsibility for our own deficiencies and do so in a gracious manner.

The Royal Treatment

Posted on June 15, 2014 by anentrepreneurswords

I’ll bet there are a million books that have been written about customer service. I even wrote one that was published in 1991 called The Customer Is King! How has customer service been for you lately? Have all of the books that have been written over the last 20-some odd years done any good? Is customer service any better today than in the past?

There is a way to ensure that we receive top-quality service with each and every encounter (well almost). It’s been working for me flawlessly for many years and I can assure you that it will work for you as well. Yes, we’re the customer and we should be treated like royalty – right? Well, what if we treat the service provider like royalty too? I have made true friends with many individuals who provide service to me. And the word “friends” is important here. I treat them like I would treat a friend.

I always try and know the name of the person serving me. That’s the best way to start a friendship. And I use their name throughout the service experience – not in a patronizing or schmaltzy way, but in a natural conversational manner. I look them in the eye and smile. At some point in the encounter I may ask them something about themselves. Why? Because I really want to know more about them. I’ll joke and tease with them because that’s my personality. If someone provides excellent service, I make sure and tell him or her what a terrific job he/she did. And I also make sure and tell the manager the same thing. I may also shake hands with the service provider, especially if he’s a man. If the circumstances are appropriate I make certain that I tip generously, rounding up to the nearest dollar. At Christmas, I give $100 in cash to a couple of servers who regularly serve me at my favorite restaurants. In one case I know that my gift made a significant difference in what he was able to do for his family during the holidays.

We eat regularly at a local restaurant and have often been served by a 50-something woman. She wasn’t easy to warm-up, but when she did crack a smile it was radiant. At one point I told her how beautiful her smile was and I thought she was going to cry. I talked to her about her daughter and her mother and learned more about her life experiences. Today she is extraordinarily warm and outgoing with us. She goes to great lengths to make sure our service is outstanding. The effort I expend is nominal and I’m completely genuine about my interest in those providing service to me.

If something about the product or service isn’t quite right I don’t hesitate to talk to the service provider or the manager about it. I always do so in a friendly and respectful way. Throwing a tantrum and acting like a jerk doesn’t do anything to build friendships or treat everyone like royalty. More often than not the situation is corrected and though I never expect or request it, my bill is reduced or I receive a gift coupon.

Treating service providers like royalty is rare these days. Usually they simply blend into the background. When I interview someone for a job, I like to do so over a meal so I can see how well the person treats the wait staff. If her or she is gracious and acknowledges the server there’s a reasonable chance that the interviewee has a good customer service perspective. Numerous prospective team members have not been hired because they didn’t even show common courtesy to the server.

We have every right to expect excellent customer service. And we’ll receive it if we treat our service provider like a king or queen. It’s human nature to return kindness with kindness.

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