What Happened to Recess?

Posted on January 26, 2014 by anentrepreneurswords

Question: Why is it that so many work environments are staid and boring? No one seems to want to have any fun.

Answer: I remember how recess was a much anticipated event in my elementary school years. We’d keep our nose to the grindstone with reading, writing and ‘rithmetic, and then the teacher would announce that it was time for recess. The clouds would part, the sun would shine, the birds would chirp and the angels in heaven would sing the sweetest songs ever heard. We would stream outside for 15 or 20 minutes of pure bliss. As we grew older we bought into the notion that a play break was only for kids.

Part of the problem is that many people see work as work and play as play. For some reason they believe that there can’t be an intersection between the two. As entrepreneurs we can be pretty intense at times, so lightening things up a bit is very much in order. Many of us learned that we should always be prim and proper – if we let our hair down at all, we’d be viewed as immature and it could hurt our chances to advance in the world. Fortunately there are some companies and organizations that are discarding these old mores. Hopefully this trend will continue.

Having fun while we work makes us more productive and more effective. It also allows us to build relationships and helps us to avoid burnout. So how can we infuse the concept of recess back into our daily lives? We can start by giving ourselves permission to have fun, and to discard some of the old tapes that are playing in our heads that tell us we should not play at work. Then we find things to do during the day that bring joy and laughter to others. For a number of years during the heat of the summer, I donned an ice cream cone costume and pushed an ice cream cart around the office. I dispensed ice cream bars to our associates and elicited a lot of smiles in the process. It was fun for them and I had a blast.

One company that seems to weave the recess mentality throughout each day is Southwest Airlines. The employees are given license to have fun. Flight attendants sing and dance and the pilots provide witty commentary throughout the flight. I’ve spoken with many, many Southwest employees over the years, and every one of them provided testimony as to how much fun they have serving their customers every day.

Life is too short not to be happy and smile all the time. There’s no reason to turn off our joy when we are working. When we have fun and include others in the process everyone benefits. And the simple and beloved concept of recess lives on.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

Intentional Grounding

Posted on January 19, 2014 by anentrepreneurswords

Question: I personally have a problem with pursuing the future. When I do, I don’t live in the “now.” How can a person remain in the moment but also remain mindful of his future vision?

Answer: It does seem like we must have a bit of a split-personality to do both, doesn’t it? And there’s no doubt that it can be quite confusing at times. On the one hand we’re advised to live in the moment. I certainly subscribe to the philosophy of “live today like you’re going to die tomorrow.” If we spend too much time planning for the future we miss what’s happening today. But on the other hand, if we give no thought to the future, we may not achieve our ultimate goals and objectives.

I’m by nature a planner. I totally enjoy the “vision thing” and plotting a course of action to get there (the mission). A song from 1974 really put it in perspective for me though, and could easily be the national anthem for entrepreneurs . . . The Cat’s in the Cradle by Harry Chapin. To refresh your memory, the song refers to a father and son who are like ship’s passing in the night – always paying lip service to each other but never making the choice to spend quality time together. That song has served as a perpetual reminder to feel the full experience of what I’m doing every moment.

Living in the present and holding a future vision are not mutually exclusive. We entrepreneurs are so driven by our vision that we never have to worry about losing sight of it. It’s our natural disposition to gravitate to holding and nurturing our vision. What we generally have to work harder to accomplish is being in the now. I believe that the key to succeeding in both realms is to be intentional. This means that for whatever we’re doing we need to focus and really see what we’re looking at. If it’s a daughter’s soccer game or a son’s piano recital we need to intentionally focus our attention on this event. Enjoy it, embrace it, and celebrate it. Likewise, when we are contemplating our future vision, we do the same. Be there intentionally without any other distractions and enjoy, embrace and celebrate it. To steal a football term, I like to call this “intentional grounding.”

In the end it’s important to remember what we value. As entrepreneurs we value the passion we have for our friends and families as much as our passion for our chosen profession. The only way we can adequately tend to both passions is to be totally present for each. Succeeding in this regard takes a great deal of practice – it won’t happen overnight. But intentionality will make it so.

It’s Later Than You Think

Posted on January 12, 2014 by anentrepreneurswords

Question: I have a colleague who is habitually late for everything. This is really aggravating and is hurting our business. Why is he this way?

Answer: I once had a partner who was always late to everything. When I’d say something to him about it, he’d only laugh it off. I finally realized that he was late on purpose. Why? Because I believe that he always wanted to make a grand entrance to any meeting or appointment. I think he felt it gave him some sort of power over everyone in attendance – they had to wait to start until he arrived.

There are several reasons for lateness. The first (and worst) is exemplified by my former partner (who sadly is deceased) as described in the preceding paragraph. Another reason is a lack of organization and/or poor time management. A third reason is simply not caring that others must wait. And finally, every once in a while there may be an unavoidable occurrence that prevents us from being on time.

It’s important for us to put ourselves in the shoes of others and think about how they feel when we are late. I personally resent it when others believe their time is more valuable than mine and choose not to be on time for an appointment or meeting. This drives me to try and be early to meetings that I attend. I don’t believe there is any such thing as being fashionably late. Suppose I am on a phone call and know that I need to leave in five minutes to meet an investor for lunch. And suppose that I know that the call I’m on is going to take longer than five minutes. I will ask the other party if I can call him or her back from my cell phone and finish the conversation while I’m driving. I’ve never had anyone object to this approach and I’m always on time when I use it. For the few times I’ve actually been late, I always call ahead and let my party know exactly when I will arrive – even if I’m only going to be two or three minutes late.

Recently I made an appointment to see an oral surgeon for some dental work. I arrived 10 minutes early and was informed that the surgeon was running 75 minutes behind. No one bothered to call me in advance. I re-scheduled the appointment with assurances that I would “get right in.” Once again I arrived early and was processed by the receptionist. After 30-minutes of waiting past my appointment time I left for good and wrote the surgeon a letter. He called and apologized and then blamed his staff for poor communications. Not once did he take responsibility for overbooking. This obviously was his modus operandi which seems to be the case for many in the medical profession. I formed an unfavorable opinion about him and unfortunately (for him) have related this story many times. He’s probably a fine surgeon, but projects an air of arrogance with his tardiness.

Being late is a simple choice. We may believe that we have a legitimate excuse, but again, it begins with a choice we make. When we are early for an appointment or meeting, we send a signal that we truly value the other person. This small, uncomplicated act does wonders to build strong and positive relationships.

Speak to Me

Posted on January 5, 2014 by anentrepreneurswords

Question: Recently I was asked to speak before an industry group. I’m very nervous about giving this presentation. How can I get rid of the butterflies and give a talk for which I can be proud?

Answer: Public speaking offers a terrific opportunity to share knowledge and gain exposure for your organization and yourself. And yet it’s something that a large percentage of the population fears . . . even dreads. Why is that? I believe that the main reason is that we are so afraid of what other people will think of us. What if we make a mistake? Will we be viewed as not having the expertise that we want to project? Perhaps we measure ourselves against the lofty speaking styles of those we perceive to be great orators.

As with most things, successful public speaking is all about mindset. We can allow the fear to consume us or we can turn the tables and actually embrace the opportunity. Think about this. The choice is very clear – consuming fear or a joyful embrace. Assuming that we choose to embrace the opportunity we then must continuously affirm how positively excited and grateful we are to be making the presentation. Making this choice is Step One in the process.

Step Two is to determine the style of speaking that is best suited for us. I detest standing behind a podium and reading a speech. Instead, I need to connect with my audience. I’ve adopted a style where I take a microphone and walk around the room – almost like a town hall format. I ask questions of the audience and encourage their feedback throughout my presentation. Thus, I do not put myself in situations where I can’t adapt the presentation to my style. And when I’ve been asked to stand behind a podium and read a speech, I’m generally able to re-work the format into my walk-around more casual approach. Finding the right style of speaking is a critical step toward a successful presentation.

Step Three is to practice, practice and practice. I recommend that you practice your presentation at least three times in front of other people if possible. The more you practice the more confident you will become. Practice also will allow you to become more fluid in your delivery and to fine tune some of the details that you wish to present.

So, now we have continuously embraced the opportunity with a positive attitude. We have developed a speaking style that is just right for us. And we’ve practiced our presentation multiple times. Now the moment of truth has arrived and perhaps we’re feeling a little jittery. Try “leaning into” the jitters. Instead of allowing them to nibble at our confidence, we turn the anxiety into excitement. Try exclaiming, “I am thrilled to have the opportunity to make the best presentation I’ve ever made in my life!” Say it multiple times along with a few deep breaths, and we’re ready to rock-and-roll.

Speaking in public is an honor. Presenting over and over ensures that we’ll become highly proficient. And then the feeling we get when we’re finished is that of supreme satisfaction.

Resolute

Posted on December 29, 2013 by anentrepreneurswords

Question: It’s time for another New Year’s resolution.

Answer: Over the past year I’ve written a great deal about how the mindset we have means everything. For the coming year I resolve to hold a positive and productive mindset about everything and everyone. We’ve all heard that our minds are incredibly powerful. Undoubtedly we’ve seen numerous examples of how this impacts our lives and the lives of others – so we know it works. Our opportunity in the New Year is to commit to put this into practice.

If I encounter a health challenge of some sort, I will hold a positive and productive mindset to see myself as healthy and whole. I know that the power of my mind will enable my body to heal. A negative mindset will block the healing process.

If I face difficulties in my relationships I will hold a positive and productive mindset to bring about peace and harmony. When negative thoughts about another person creep into my mind, I will recognize them; release them, and replace them with positive thoughts.

Should I face financial difficulties I will hold a positive and productive mindset in order to find the right and perfect solution. This will give me insight into a window of creativity that will lead me to a state of abundance and prosperity. Negative thinking will constrict the creative flow that I need.

When I find myself in a funk I know that this can turn into frustration. I will hold a positive and productive mindset in order to become relaxed and refreshed. Frustration is pure negative energy and will prevent me from returning to a place of balance and order.

If I experience fear, I know that a positive and productive mindset will allow me to shine a light into the shadows and chase the fear away. Negativity and fear are twin siblings and I have no use for them.

I am solely responsible for my own thoughts and I accept the consequences of those thoughts. I know that positive thoughts produce positive results and negative thoughts produce negative results. Thus, I make the choice to hold a positive and productive mindset in order to live a happy and successful life. The equation is simple and straightforward.

Happy New Year!

Magnified

Posted on December 22, 2013 by anentrepreneurswords

Question: Every time I watch the news on TV or on the Internet all I see is negativity and bad stuff. This is so demoralizing and just sickening to see. I need to know what’s happening in the world but this is too much.

Answer: Bad things have been happening since humans inhabited the earth. And I don’t believe that more bad things are happening now than in the past – just different things. But one fact is significantly different than in the past. Everything – and I mean everything – can be reported at the speed of light. Unfortunately the media believes that no one wants to see or read happy news. This may or may not be true but it’s the hand we’re dealt. The net effect is that all the negativity is magnified because that’s all that’s reported.

Too many people ignore the news. I have talked to countless 20 and 30-somethings who tell me that they don’t pay attention to the news, primarily because it’s so negative. But that’s not the solution. We can’t afford to have a nation of low information citizens. Some sort of coping mechanism is needed to filter out the bad and the negative enabling us to understand what is happening in the world around us.

Here are two ideas that can work hand-in-hand to help us with this issue. Both involve perspective. First, when we read a newspaper, watch television news or surf the Internet, we must remember that we’re seeing what others want us to see. And what others want us to see typically imparts an element of their own bias – and often that bias is substantial. Remember in school how we were taught to abstract articles? Now is the time to put that into action. We can’t change the circumstances that may be negative, but we can focus only on the facts. A plane crashed and people lost their lives. Do we really need to digest all the gory details? If we stick to the facts we can lessen the negative assault on our psyche.

The second idea involves intentional awareness. Each day should start with our resolving to look for good things that are happening around us. Rather than allowing what we read and hear in the media to beat us down, we can notice the acts of kindness, friendly greetings, big and little wins, and other positive things that will never get the attention of a “journalist.” We have no need to filter what we see with our own eyes.

Intentionally looking for the good in our lives helps to cancel out the drumbeat of bad news and negativity that others are trying to serve up to us. And then the choice is ours for how we interpret what we hear and see in our world.

The Circle

Posted on December 15, 2013 by anentrepreneurswords

Question: Giving it away makes me feel good. But I’m told that being able to receive is just as important. I don’t get it.

Answer: I will confess at the outset that this is not my strong suit. Part of my personal growth is learning how to receive. I love to give of my time, talent and treasure but it feels weird in some instances when I’m put in a position of receiving. I’ve wondered if for some reason this has something to do with my feelings of self-worth. For some this could be an issue, but for me I don’t think it is the reason as much as my upbringing. My parents taught me to be humble and not draw attention to myself. They modeled this for my sister and me and we learned it well. But it has resulted in my struggle with being on the receiving end.

I can tell you that the “old tapes” are playing in my head big-time when I receive an unexpected gift. And when I receive recognition of some sort I often feel a bit embarrassed. Contrast this with how I feel when I give to others – even if it’s anonymously. Now that’s a real high for me!

Here’s something important that I’ve discovered about giving. Receiving completes the circle. And when we fail to receive with the proper mindset, we’re creating a blockage for the good things that are destined to come to us. Confused? I’ve said over and over that the more we give the more we receive – it’s just the way it works. And yet, if we have trouble receiving then how do we realize our good? I think part of my problem with this has been that I have a false concern that others might view the way I receive as arrogance or braggadocio. The lesson I’m learning is that if we receive our good in a humble and appreciative manner and properly express our heartfelt gratitude then our integrity remains intact. And we always must remember that when we give, we do so without any quid pro quo expectations. We give from our hearts. But we know that we will receive – something, sometime and somewhere – in bigger and better ways than we can ever imagine.

Giving and receiving is one of life’s endless circles. By being able to embrace receiving as much as we do giving helps us to complete that circle over and over.

All the Best

Posted on December 8, 2013 by anentrepreneurswords

Question: I hate being disappointed about so many things in my life. How do I set my expectations so that this doesn’t happen?

Answer: Disappointment is an insidious feeling. Years and years of disappointment breeds cynicism. Disappointment also leads to pessimism. Cynicism and pessimism slowly creeps into our consciousness and attacks our soul. At all costs we must avoid allowing ourselves to be disappointed. So your question is really about how to avoid being disappointed.

The solution may sound perverse but it’s really not. Expect the best. It’s that simple. Expect the best. This is not a Pollyanna concept but a mindset. Think about it. When we try to lower our expectations what does that do? It creates a mindset that is limiting. We may take actions that align with our lowered expectations and as a result we ensure that we won’t achieve our highest good. The reason we may be disappointed is because we may not really believe high expectations. We think at one level that things are going to be amazing but deep down inside we don’t really believe it. And the situation then becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Expecting the best is all about truly believing. I’ve written before about being accused of wearing rose-colored glasses. But I’ve found over the years that always expecting the best generally turns into reality. It’s the law of mind-action. What we believe in our minds is produced in the world around us. Of course a distinction must be made lest this law be misunderstood. If I’m 60 years old and believe I’m 20, I’m not really going to roll the clock back and become 20 again. But if I believe that I feel like I’m 20 . . . if I truly believe this . . . then I will feel like I’m 20. Which brings us back to expectations. How many times have we said, “I really want to win that new contract, but the deck is probably stacked against me.” What is most likely to happen? We won’t win the contract because we affirmed that we wouldn’t. Our lowered-expectation is that we won’t win.

Expecting the best is liberating. It means that we have no need to lower or measure our expectations. Instead we can truly believe the best about our lives. And as an added bonus, our beliefs will manifest.

Which Wire Do I Cut?

Posted on December 1, 2013 by anentrepreneurswords

Question: I often find myself pressed for time due to a deadline of some kind. The more pressure I’m under the more mistakes I make. What can I do to feel less stress and perform at a higher level?

Answer: You may be expecting me to tell you to just relax, right? And while that’s good advice, that’s not going to be my answer here. Instead, consider turning the tables. This may sound counterintuitive but it works. What were the thoughts that ran through your mind when you faced a seemingly impossible deadline? “I’ll never get this done in time!” Or, “this is ridiculous, why did I agree to this crazy due date?”

What do you suppose would happen if you said this instead? “Wow, this is a fantastic opportunity! I have a chance to push myself to succeed where in the past I might have failed.” Naturally the words mean nothing if the mindset isn’t there. Think about all of the benefits of working under pressure. First, we get to grow. How does staying comfortable stimulate personal growth? Only when we stretch do we really learn how to be better. Second, we become even more effective at planning. The odds are better for successfully meeting a tight deadline if we create a precision plan to identify and execute all of the necessary steps. Finally, we get more done. In the overall context of eternity, our lives are but a blink of an eye. Working continuously in short deadline mode means that we get to experience a lot more of life.

Here’s a game that I devised years ago to help me handle the pressure of meeting deadlines. Imagine that you are a James Bondesque individual and you just learned that you are in a building containing a nuclear bomb that is set to explode in five minutes vaporizing you and tens of millions of people. There’s no time to call anyone – it’s totally up to you to defuse this device. You have to find the bomb; figure out how to remove its housing; determine if there’s a booby trap to disarm, and then decide which of the colored wires should be snipped (if you ever find yourself in this situation, never cut the red wire). Meanwhile the clock is ticking and you could very soon become a bug on the great cosmic windshield if you screw up. This exaggerated imagery has made me laugh, prompted me to plan, encouraged me to keep score (of how many times I’ve saved the world) and taught me never to procrastinate.

Whether we’re entrepreneurs or not, our lives are filled with deadlines. Perhaps seeing ourselves as Mission Impossible heroes will spur us into action and allow us to actually enjoy the process of reaching the finish line. Alive!

Grrrrrrreat!

Posted on November 24, 2013 by anentrepreneurswords

Question: Is there a secret formula for “greatness?” Some people seem to be destined that way. The rest of us . . . I’m not so sure sometimes.

Answer: Think about the people who you might consider being great – they can be living or dead. Who do you include? Albert Einstein? George Washington? Jonas Salk? Mother Teresa? What do all of these people have in common? They were all human beings, just like you and me. Each of them faced trials and tribulations similar to our own. None of them set out to be great. So just how did they rise to the level of respect and achievement that they did?

Each of these great people worked hard to live to their full potential. No one actually does this completely. But some people seem to get closer than others. So what does this say about mankind? We all are meant to do great things. When I was a child my parents pushed me hard to be better. My teachers did the same. On the basketball court my coaches rode me hard. There were times when I resented this but as an adult I realize that each parent, teacher and coach saw that I had potential and wanted me to achieve it. I attribute some of my success to having these people believe in me and encourage me to reach for the stars.

Some of us weren’t pushed as hard during our formative years as was I. So how do we do great things? Here’s the formula:

(Big Dreams + Risk Something) + (Resilience + Perseverance) + Positivity = Greatness

We can’t do great things if we don’t dream big dreams. Why don’t more people dream bigger? Because often there is risk involved or they don’t believe they can realize their dreams. But when we dream big and we put ourselves at risk, then we have a chance to make a real difference. And there’s no doubt that when we do both of these things we may not always succeed immediately. So it’s imperative that we bounce back and keep on trying. In the immortal words of Winston Churchill – we never, ever, ever, ever, ever give up. Finally we must maintain a positive outlook on everything we’re doing. Negativity blocks the flow of positive energy that we need to make the formula work. There’s one word that describes all of this . . . mindset. Great people who do great things have a great mindset.

You and I can have a great mindset. It requires practice every single day. Our DNA is programmed for us to do great things. When our mindset is in the right place, our greatness will manifest.

An Entrepreneur's Words to Live By

Lifechanging Ideas for Entrepreneurs