Tag Archives: confidence

The Entrepreneur’s “Skin”

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How’s your skin? Does it fit comfortably? How thick is it? There are a couple of things to know about the skin of successful entrepreneurs. They are usually very comfortable in them and it’s thick as rhinoceros hide. Let’s explore what all of this means.

Our behavior, especially the way we treat other people, is a pretty good indicator of how comfortable we are in our own skin. We’ve all seen the caricature of a hard-driving take-no-prisoners Type A boss. He berates others and makes unreasonable demands. He is completely insensitive to the feelings of those around him and is often loud and boorish. I’m painting a negative picture of this individual to dramatize my point. Such people are often deeply insecure. I’ve gotten to know several people like this. Every one of them has been a good person at heart, but they live in constant fear which adversely impacts their personality. They are afraid of being “found out” – they think that maybe they aren’t as qualified or “together” as the image they are trying to project. They are afraid that at any given moment they might fail at whatever endeavor they are tackling. The tough guy act overcompensates for these insecurities.

We all experience varying degrees of insecurity, but it’s how we deal with it that truly counts. I’ve had many friends and mentees over time that confided that they may be nervous about a particular situation and want my advice on how to handle it. As a seasoned pro when it comes to anxiety, I can boost their confidence by saying three simple words . . . “just be yourself.” And what I really mean is just be your true self. Not the mask that is worn and shown to others. Now you might say that this seems like overly simplistic advice. I agree. Just being ourselves is pretty simple. We try to overcomplicate things but it all boils down to this simple premise. I’ve learned how to overcome my anxiety and just be myself by pondering the following question. “Is this a life-or-death situation?” Fortunately, I’ve always been able to answer “no.” Putting things in this perspective allows me to melt away the insecurity and just be who I am. If I’m being myself and maintaining my core values, I really don’t care what others may think. And then the pressure is off.

This brings me to my second “skin” point. Our insecurities mirror the way we are affected by our interactions with others. When we allow ourselves to be hurt, feel slighted or victimized by someone else, it’s a reflection of how secure we are in our own skin. We take a lot of body blows as entrepreneurs. We may or may not get the credit when things go right, but we’re the focal point when things go wrong – our fault or not. The business world is ultra-competitive and not everyone plays fairly. Conflict may erupt within our own organization and it’s up to us to resolve it. Bottom line – there’s a lot of opportunity to personalize the constant hammering to which we are subjected. We develop that suit of armor that gets us through the wars when we are totally comfortable with whom we are. I suppose in a way it’s more like a suit of Teflon™ that deflects the attacks. And perhaps they aren’t really attacking at all if we don’t perceive them as such . . . right?

Being comfortable in our own skin accomplishes two objectives. It enables us to treat others with dignity and respect and it inoculates us from allowing ourselves to be hurt by others. This is a pretty good twofer in my book.

 This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

The Doubting Entrepreneur

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There’s one thing which I’m certain . . . I think. Have you ever had this kind of feeling? We entrepreneurs are a pretty confident lot. We are scrappy and tough. There’s nothing we can’t do including leaping over tall buildings in a single bound. Throw us a challenge and we’ll whip it with one hand tied behind our back and blindfolded to boot. Right? Well, maybe. And most of the time.

Entrepreneurs have several “thought enemies,” one of them being gnawing and nagging doubts. Here’s a not-so-fictional example. Let’s say that things have been going pretty well in our business and we’ve had some nice wins along the way. Then we hit a little speed bump – perhaps a contract doesn’t get signed that we thought we had in the bag. Or an important customer stops doing business with us. In other words, we get knocked off our game a bit. That part we can handle with aplomb as we go on to sign another contract or we fix the problem with our important customer. It’s what happens next that can be perplexing.

After we’ve been bucked off the horse so to speak, we begin to have feelings of doubt. For example, we are ready to introduce a new product or service, but we wonder if it might flop. In the past, we would have launched without any trepidation, but now it feels different. Could something else go wrong that might cause everything to come unraveled? We know that these gnawing and nagging doubts aren’t healthy and could become self-fulfilling prophecies. Yet still they are there and hard to push out of our mind.

Why is our confidence shaken, and doubts have entered the picture? I’ve thought about all the times this has happened in my life and believe it centers on a rather recent failure in the past. The earlier example that I gave where the contract or customer was lost illustrates this notion. Coming off a failure makes us wary and more sensitive. As entrepreneurs we have winning in our DNA. Failure is for losers. And yet we do fail, and we do lose. Sure, we’re resilient, but we can’t ignore what it felt like to fail and lose, and we don’t want to experience it again. And so, we’re vulnerable to doubt and uncertainty. Subconsciously we’re thinking, “I’m sure what I’m doing now is going to work, but if it doesn’t, I don’t want to be hurt again.” We find ourselves moving forward but wondering . . . always wondering when the other shoe will drop.

Here’s what I’ve learned about myself when these insidious doubts start creeping into my consciousness. I step back and take inventory of all the positive successes that I know lay in front of me. I may have just lost a deal, but there are ten more that I believe with all my heart will succeed. Now here’s the key – even if only half of the ten deals actually succeed, I’m still way, way ahead. In other words, I’m not looking at the glass half full, but I’m looking at multiple glasses and every one of them is overflowing. Immediately my mindset changes and all is right with my world again. I’ve accepted the fact that I had a prior setback. I’ve accepted the fact that I’ll have more setbacks in the future. But I know that the pluses will always far outweigh the minuses, and the winning score will be in my favor – overwhelmingly!

Gnawing and nagging doubts are usually a product of a recent failure. We get past such feelings by looking at the scoreboard and realizing that we are way ahead in the game. Ultimately this makes us unbeatable.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

The Blessed Entrepreneur

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We all have aspirations. So, what kind of an entrepreneur do we aspire to be? I would like to be a Blessed Entrepreneur. How would this manifest?

The Blessed Entrepreneur has a rock-solid set of principles and core values. He or she marches to a tune of integrity and honor. Decisions are made in part with an eye toward how others are helped and most certainly an avoidance of intentionally hurting anyone. The purest test of this individual comes when a choice must be made between earning substantial profits by “cutting corners” or doing the right thing that generates little or no gain.

The Blessed Entrepreneur sees the glass not half empty or half full. This person sees many glasses overflowing and is always in deep gratitude for such bounty. A completely positive mindset is one of the strongest attributes of the Blessed Entrepreneur. Thoughts of lack and limitation are quickly swept away with optimism and hope; then translated into process and action that pre-ordains the desired outcomes. Even moments of doubt and challenge are transformed into opportunity and silver linings.

The Blessed Entrepreneur exudes quiet confidence. There is no arrogance – only competence. This confidence evolves through knowledge, experience and selflessness. The Blessed Entrepreneur is never too proud to ask for help or admit ignorance about a particular subject or situation. He or she is totally comfortable in his or her own skin. There’s no need to “put on airs” or pretend to be someone they’re not.

The Blessed Entrepreneur is the quintessential leader. This person is a role model and a collaborator. A command-and-control style is never utilized. Coaching is the approach most favored, and a clear vision is continuously articulated. The Blessed Entrepreneur inspires members of the team to do better and be better. He or she is always looking for ways to recognize the accomplishments and success of others. An intentionally positive culture is developed and nurtured.

The Blessed Entrepreneur understands his or her priorities. Outside of a vocation, this individual has a strong focus on living a healthy lifestyle. This includes regular exercise, eating right and getting regular medical checkups. The Blessed Entrepreneur is aware that good health impacts all other aspects of his or her life. Similarly, this person also pays attention to the family unit, spending quality time with a spouse or partner, children, parents, grandparents and other family members. Most important of all, being fully present defines quality time.

The Blessed Entrepreneur is financially prosperous but not because wealth is his or her goal. Instead, a passion for a profession drives this person to excel and discover new opportunities. This passion unlocks a powerful creative flow that results in amazing success. And part of this success can be measured in a level of financial benefit that becomes a by-product of the overall effort.

The Blessed Entrepreneur embraces change and fearlessly pursues innovative solutions to problems that are faced. The prospects of change stimulate excitement and a desire to lead the process that enables an orderly transition. There’s no hand wringing about the past – only a positive outlook for the future with an expectation that every day will be even better than the last. This attitude converts to boundless energy that is infectious for all those with whom contact is made.

Finally, the Blessed Entrepreneur lives a life of service to others. He or she is always looking for ways to offer a helping hand without quid pro quo. There is no need or anticipation for accolades and recognition. The Blessed Entrepreneur has an innate ability to spot those who need assistance whether it be a colleague, a friend, a family member or even a stranger. This giving of oneself may be small in nature or significant – it matters not.

Blessed Entrepreneurs lead complete and satisfying lives. They are committed to their aspirations which become inspirational for the rest of us.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

The No-Struggle Entrepreneur

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How many times have you heard that entrepreneurship is a struggle? Heck, we’ve all heard how life in general can be a struggle. But is it really? I think it’s worth exploring the notion of “struggling.” Various definitions of the word “struggle” reference adversaries, opposing forces, bodily effort, fight, conflict, or contest. I’m just not feeling it.

Let’s paint a picture. Three years ago, Entrepreneur Ed launched his new enterprise. He has encountered many interesting issues along the way. There have been untimely resignations of key team members; nail-biting moments when it was questionable whether he would make payroll; a patent infringement lawsuit; shortages of raw materials that were critical in producing Ed’s product; brutal competition resulting in a price war; cancellation of a liability insurance policy, and the loss of a key customer. Many might say that the last three years have been a “struggle” for Entrepreneur Ed, after all, it appears that he has faced a great deal of adversity. But Ed doesn’t see it that way.

Here is Ed’s perspective. What others see as negative experiences Ed sees as puzzles to solve. Challenging – sure! But Ed believes that what doesn’t kill him will make him stronger and smarter. The utopian view would have us sail along on calm seas growing our businesses from 8 to 5, then going home to play with the kids and spend weekends at the beach. Uh, sorry, it doesn’t work that way. What matters most is the mindset we have as we move through the course of each day. Do we feel like we’re on a perpetual treadmill, grinding away and being attacked from all sides? Do we wonder when the proverbial “other shoe” is going to drop? Perhaps we have become totally overwhelmed to the point of depression. It doesn’t have to be.

Here’s the antidote to the “struggle.” We know we’ve signed on for an adventure – both in the entrepreneurial world and for life in general. That adventure is going to be whatever we make it. If we are fearful and expect disaster . . . we’re likely to find ourselves with a front row seat on the deck of the Titanic as it slowly sinks into the North Atlantic. However, every challenge does not need to end in catastrophe.

We have been rapidly scaling our companies for the past few years. There have been many moments when someone looking in from the outside might believe we were seconds from colliding with a massive iceberg (sorry, I can’t seem to shake out of the Titanic metaphor). I have never believed for a moment that we were on the wrong course. I’ve seen each challenge as a positive opportunity for creativity and growth. And guess what? It’s working! Every time we think we’re flirting with disaster we seem to pull a rabbit out of a hat – except there’s really nothing magical about it at all. Instead, we have a well-thought plan, and we have an extremely positive mindset. We know there will be detours along the way. Sometimes we’ll have to backtrack to find the trail, but we are never lost, and we are always focused on our vision.

As I write this, it’s worth noting that I’ve been with the same company and on the same quest for nearly 49 years. I can now look back and realize how incredible the ride was. Did it ever seem like a struggle? There definitely were times early in my career where I wondered if we were going to survive. But the older (and maybe wiser) I’ve become, the more I’ve come to understand that success comes from within us. While there may be some external influences, it’s really all about how we see the world when we get up in the morning; how we choose to look at each experience throughout the day, and the impression with which we are left when our head hits the pillow at night. In other words, we’ll struggle if we believe we are struggling. Or we’ll see the incredibly short time we are riding this planet as a golden opportunity for experimentation, innovation, mastery, and joy.

We throw off the chains of “struggle” when we embrace a life filled with positive energy and gratitude. And then we can pursue our purposeful vision with confidence.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

The Supremely Confident Entrepreneur

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There is at least one must-have trait for successful entrepreneurs. Without confidence the road is very steep and rocky. College basketball is one of the most interesting demonstrations of how confidence or a lack thereof can impact outcomes. I’ve watched many games where the players on a team are tentative. They lack energy and they are missing their shots. Often, they are out of position and cannot rebound or chase down loose balls. A few days later the same team plays another game. This time there is fluidity in their motion. They are passing the ball crisply; players are getting nice elevation when they shoot, and the ball is going in the hole. The night-and-day difference between the two contests is that of confidence.

What is the secret to gaining and maintaining confidence? There are several elements that are required. The first is that of “mastery.” Mastery is achieved through constant practice and the repetitive patterning that occurs as our experience builds. This is particularly important for millennials to understand. Fair or not, many millennials are tagged with the stereotype that they have an incredibly high sense of urgency. They don’t want to wait for results and can be impatient at times. However, I’ve seen millennials and people of all ages try something a couple of times and believe they have mastered it. Then I watch as they try it again and bomb badly. With confidence shaken they are humbled and may become afraid to jump in the water again. All of this could have been avoided had real mastery been achieved. One of the biggest fears in society today is that of public speaking. And the only way to resolve this fear once and for all, is to practice speaking over and over and over. The fear doesn’t suddenly evaporate after a handful of gigs. It took me 50 or 60 times to reach the point that I began to feel comfortable in front of a group.  

The second element is that of achieving a history of desired outcomes. It’s one thing to repeat a process enough times to master something. That helps to build confidence. But achieving the results we want is the validation necessary for us to know that we’re on the right track with our mastery. Let’s use our basketball example again. A team may be executing the basics and fundamentals properly; it may be playing strong defense, and the players are running the plays as designed. But if the scoreboard isn’t showing a W for the team on a regular basis, it’s hard to build confidence. I’ve never heard anyone profess that losing all the time builds confidence . . . but winning does. As entrepreneurs we must tweak our approach until we begin to win consistently. For example, if our sales approach isn’t working and we keep doing it the same way, it’s time to start experimenting to learn what it takes to win. After all, there’s no point in “mastering” losing!

The third aspect of building confidence is to always maintain a positive attitude – no matter what. We must believe that eventually we’ll get it right; eventually we will win. I’ve said many times that what we think in mind produces in the outer after its kind. When we believe at our core that we are going to win, eventually we will win. If we have doubts or know in our bones that we’re going to lose, eventually we will lose. I have never seen anyone become more self-confident by having a negative attitude. Attitude is critical to the success of individuals and to the team. If one member of the team is positive and the rest are negative, the confidence of the team will be adversely affected. As entrepreneurial leaders it is incumbent upon us to make sure that our team is unanimous with a positive attitude.  

Developing mastery, achieving success and being eternally optimistic are the rocket fuel that will propel us to a perpetual state of self-confidence. This patterning also inoculates us from having our self-confidence shaken when from time-to-time we might stumble. We’ve been there before. We know what we must do, and we are able to re-calibrate and get back on track with ease and grace. There is no panic or desperation – we simply remember to follow the formula that has worked so well in the past.

Building self-confidence is a process much like riding a bicycle. Once learned, we may fall off on rare occasions; but when we do we get up, dust ourselves off and start riding the bike again like it never happened.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

The BIG Leap Entrepreneur

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It’s Leap Year! When you check on this statement you may be confused because it might not be officially true – at least according to the calendar. But from an entrepreneur’s perspective, it IS Leap Year. OK – some additional set-up is in order. Let us think about where we are in our lives and in our careers. What have we achieved? Does it seem like we may be putting one foot in front of the other and carefully walking down the street? Is something holding us back from bursting into a full sprint? Do we have a gnawing feeling that we are behind the curve and maybe even falling short?

I would like to tell you a story about a friend of mine. I have his permission to share this, so I am not talking out-of-school. More than 20 years ago he asked me if I could mentor him in a life-coaching sense. He had a great job with a well-known and highly respected company and was climbing the ladder. He had the opportunity to move to another city with the same company and eagerly did so. He continued to excel in the corporate world and was financially secure. But he was yearning for something more.

This individual had a passion for the outdoors and loved to go rock climbing and whitewater rafting. It was his release from the stress of his daily routine. Eventually this passion became a part-time business. My friend began guiding trips for other entrepreneurs that had a similar passion for the outdoors. He became a master at juggling his day job with his new hobby-business. Ultimately, his yearning overtook the conservative, safe side of him and he quit his very lucrative corporate job to work for himself. Today, I am proud of the fact that he has built a successful company providing a wide range of guided outdoor excursions to a variety of destinations.

Of course, the path taken by my friend was neither direct nor smooth. He struggled mightily to make the final decision to take the Big Leap. But in the end, he did, and it has paid off mightily for him. He is a happy man who is in charge of his own destiny and blessed to be able to provide a good life for his family. So, how did he do it?  

The Big Leap is undoubtedly different for each of us. But it requires some of the same basic elements. First, is the element of Strong Desire. Do we really want it? The Big Leap can happen when Strong Desire becomes overwhelming. We really, really want something to happen. It is stuck in our consciousness every day. It’s a craving. All we can think about is that which we envision becoming a reality for us.

The second element is that of Knowledge. My friend amassed considerable Knowledge by experimenting with his business ideas while still working his full-time corporate job. He did this for a period of years – not weeks or months – and was able to learn what worked and what did not. He achieved a deep understanding of the market opportunities as well as the pitfalls to avoid. And the more Knowledge he gained, the more his Strong Desire became even stronger.

The third element is that of Confidence. I watched with admiration as my friend’s Confidence soared over time. His Strong Desire supported by Knowledge had become a quest. We worked through an Opportunities-to-Fail exercise where we inventoried all the risks we could think of and how he would mitigate those risks. This all unfolded in a measured way. We did not rush but we also didn’t tarry. His Confidence grew as the result of a process.

Finally, the last element of the Big Leap is that of Faith. I am not referring to Faith in a religious sense. Instead, it is a belief that goes beyond the empirical nature of Confidence. In this case, my friend had reached the point where his Strong Desire, Knowledge and Confidence coalesced to produce a belief that he would absolutely succeed. Oh sure, there were still moments of doubt. But they did not shake his Faith that he would be able to make his new venture work.  

We can make every year Leap Year. When we are ready to shake out of the same-old, same-old and take that next big step, we can do so when the four elements of Strong Desire, Knowledge, Confidence and Faith are combined to buttress the big idea that we have.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

The Unlimited Entrepreneur

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Let us count brick walls. They are everywhere. We encounter them at work and at home. We find them in our personal and business relationships. Brick walls seem to be a part of our lives. But do they need to be?

We tend to be great masons and build some very elaborate and impregnable brick walls. The brick walls to which I refer are the limitations that we impose upon ourselves. Sometimes we believe that these limitations are imposed by others but if we really examine them closely, they are more often than not, self-imposed. It is critical for us as entrepreneurs to avoid allowing thoughts of lack or limitation to creep into our psyches.

Let us look at some of the things we speak to ourselves and say to others. Anytime a sentence contains the words “I can’t,” “I don’t” or “I won’t” there is a strong possibility that limitations are in play. Certainly, there are some limitations that are rational and necessary – I am not talking about those. Thoughts of lack and limitation that prevent us from achieving our greatest potential and success are what we need to train ourselves to eliminate.

I can recall several times over the course of my career where a rookie entered the commercial real estate business and completed a series of amazing transactions. Everyone looked at each other and said, “How did he do it?” Well, I know how. This rookie did not know what he did not know. Make sense? In other words, he did not know to place limitations on himself that many veterans of the industry had imposed upon themselves. As a result, he made cold calls on clients that others thought to be untouchable or intractable. And guess what? He got deals done.

Why do we limit ourselves in the first place? Often it is the result of fear or a lack of knowledge. Analyze the following statement. “I can’t pursue that business opportunity because I don’t have the money to do so.” This statement contains both the “I can’t” and “I don’t” negative affirmations which will probably result in this person not pursuing the business opportunity. Most likely the underlying reason for the statement is that this person either has a fear about the business opportunity – perhaps it’s a fear of failure – or he/she simply doesn’t know how to find the money needed. Regardless, the opportunity will not be pursued because this person has built a brick wall around it.

So, what is the truth? We have a choice to either create reality or face reality. If we choose to create our reality, we can do so by removing all thoughts of lack and limitation. We tap into our creative energy and identify the resources that we need to succeed. We pursue that business opportunity because we find a way to raise the money that is needed. In several of the companies with which I am involved, we regularly complete apartment developments and acquisitions utilizing very complex financial structures. We have rescued many a deal from the scrap heap because we not only have the knowledge to figure out how to make them work, but we also have no fear of failure. Do we fail? Sure, we do. But our failures are simply steps toward our ultimate end goal. And we manage our risk so that none of our failures are fatal.

We can go through a life full of brick walls that are of our own making, or we can create our own reality by taking the simple yet powerful step of eliminating thoughts of lack and limitation. Whenever these thoughts start to become a part of our mindset, we recognize them; we release them, and we replace them with the truth of unlimited possibilities.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

The Realistic Entrepreneur

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There are many acts we perform as entrepreneurs that are very similar to walking on a tightrope. They require just the right amount of focus, nerve-control, and balance to keep from falling into the abyss. You are probably experiencing one or more right now. But here is one to which you may not have given much thought. How do we be an “all-in optimist” and yet maintain a perspective that is grounded in reality? Another way of putting it is, “how do we see reality through rose-colored glasses?”

Let’s face it, sometimes reality bites. We prefer not to look at the downside which may lead us to fantasize about the upside. Eventually our point of view becomes one of hope which should not be confused with optimism. Rick Page wrote a great book several years ago entitled, Hope Is Not a Strategy. He is right. I have tried to remove “hope” from my belief system. To me, the concept of hope conveys a sense of passivity. I am more interested in assertively acting in such a way that there is no room for hope in the equation.

If there is no hope and we must face reality, how can we possibly be optimistic? I believe that there is a way to be very optimistic about almost every situation while still understanding and living in reality. First, we must assess and face the downside head-on. This means that we need to take an objective look at the situation and in a cold and calculating fashion determine the facts – whatever they may be, good and bad. There is no room in this process for ignoring, denying, or rationalizing. It is critical that we inventory everything.

Next, we look at the facts and develop a complete understanding of the risks at hand. We must look at every risk as an opportunity to fail. Identifying the risks puts us in a position to figure out how we will mitigate those risks. So, let us review so far. We have recorded all the facts we know about a situation – good and bad. We have determined the risks and mitigated them. And now we want to stack the deck in our favor. We do this by creating a clear path to win. Think about it this way. Suppose you are the captain of a sailboat. You need to get from Point A to Point B. But you know that there are many rocks, shoals, severe currents, and other dangers lurking beneath the water. Before you set sail, you take charts, weather conditions, current sailor reports, and every other piece of information you can get your hands on. You then plot your course (creating a clear path to win) around the obstacles (mitigating the risks you identified from your fact-finding effort).

The last step in this process is that of holding a positive mindset. This should be relatively easy because you know the clear path that you need to take to win. And you have already planned for known and unknown challenges. The result is that you possess an air of confidence, for in your positive state of mind, you know without a doubt that you are going to sail the waters smoothly, calmly, and successfully. Now that’s optimism!

Becoming a Reality Superstar requires that we be optimistic. Optimism goes hand-in-hand with reality when we utilize a fact-based process to embrace the challenges that we experience. No longer do we need to hold onto hope, because we are supremely confident of our success.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

The Entrepreneur’s “Skin”

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How’s your skin? Does it fit comfortably? How thick is it? There are a couple of things to know about the skin of successful entrepreneurs. They are usually very comfortable in it and it’s thick as rhinoceros hide. Let’s explore what all of this means.

Our behavior, especially the way we treat other people, is a pretty good indicator of how comfortable we are in our own skin. We’ve all seen the caricature of a hard-driving take-no-prisoners Type A boss. He berates others and makes unreasonable demands. He is completely insensitive to the feelings of those around him and is often loud and boorish. I’m painting a pretty negative picture of this individual to dramatize my point. Such people are often deeply insecure. I’ve gotten to know several people like this. Every one of them has been a good person at heart, but they live in constant fear which adversely impacts their personality. They are afraid of being “found out” – they think that maybe they aren’t as qualified or “together” as the image they are trying to project. They are afraid that at any given moment they might fail at whatever endeavor they are tackling. The tough guy act overcompensates for these insecurities.

We all experience varying degrees of insecurity, but it’s how we deal with it that truly counts. I’ve had many friends and mentees over time that confided that they may be nervous about a particular situation and want my advice on how to handle it. As a seasoned pro when it comes to anxiety, I am able to boost their confidence by saying three simple words . . . “just be yourself.” And what I really mean is just be your true self. Not the mask that is worn and shown to others. Now you might say that this seems like overly simplistic advice. I agree. Just being ourselves is pretty simple. We try to overcomplicate things but it all boils down to this simple premise. I’ve learned how to overcome my anxiety and just be myself by pondering the following question. “Is this a life or death situation?” Fortunately, I’ve always been able to answer “no.” Putting things in this perspective allows me to melt away the insecurity and just be who I am. As long as I’m being myself and maintaining my core values, I really don’t care what others may think. And then the pressure is off.

This brings me to my second “skin” point. Our insecurities mirror the manner in which we are affected by our interactions with others. When we allow ourselves to be hurt, feel slighted or victimized by someone else, it’s a reflection of how secure we are in our own skin. We take a lot of body blows as entrepreneurs. We may or may not get the credit when things go right, but we’re definitely the focal point when things go wrong – our fault or not. The business world is ultra-competitive and not everyone plays fairly. Conflict may erupt within our own organization and it’s up to us to resolve it. Bottom line – there’s a lot of opportunity to personalize the constant hammering to which we are subjected. We develop that suit of armor that gets us through the wars when we are totally comfortable with whom we are. I suppose in a way it’s more like a suit of Teflon™ that deflects the attacks. And perhaps they aren’t really attacking at all if we don’t perceive them as such . . . right?

Being comfortable in our own skin accomplishes two objectives. It enables us to treat others with dignity and respect and it inoculates us from allowing ourselves to be hurt by others. This is a pretty good twofer in my book.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.

The Blessed Entrepreneur

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We all have aspirations. So, what kind of an entrepreneur do we aspire to be? I would like to be a Blessed Entrepreneur. How would this manifest?

The Blessed Entrepreneur has a rock-solid set of principles and core values. He or she marches to a tune of integrity and honor. Decisions are made in part with an eye toward how others are helped and most certainly an avoidance of intentionally hurting anyone. The purest test of this individual comes when a choice must be made between earning substantial profits by “cutting corners” or doing the right thing that generates little or no gain.

The Blessed Entrepreneur sees the glass not half empty or half full. This person sees many glasses overflowing and is always in deep gratitude for such bounty. A completely positive mindset is one of the strongest attributes of the Blessed Entrepreneur. Thoughts of lack and limitation are quickly swept away with optimism and hope; then translated into process and action that preordains the desired outcomes. Even moments of doubt and challenge are transformed into opportunity and silver linings.

The Blessed Entrepreneur exudes a quiet confidence. There is no arrogance – only competence. This confidence evolves through knowledge, experience and selflessness. The Blessed Entrepreneur is never too proud to ask for help or admit ignorance about a particular subject or situation. He or she is totally comfortable in his or her own skin. There’s no need to “put on airs” or pretend to be someone they’re not.

The Blessed Entrepreneur is the quintessential leader. This person is a role model and a collaborator. A command and control style is never utilized. Coaching is the approach most favored and a clear vision is continuously articulated. The Blessed Entrepreneur inspires members of the team to do better and be better. He or she is always looking for ways to recognize the accomplishments and success of others. An intentionally positive culture is developed and nurtured.

The Blessed Entrepreneur understands his or her priorities. Outside of a vocation, this individual has a strong focus on living a healthy lifestyle. This includes regular exercise, eating right and getting regular medical checkups. The Blessed Entrepreneur is aware that good health impacts all other aspects of his or her life. Similarly, this person also pays attention to the family unit, spending quality time with a spouse or partner, children, parents, grandparents and other family members. Most important of all, being fully present defines quality time.

The Blessed Entrepreneur is financially prosperous but not because wealth is his or her goal. Instead, a passion for a profession drives this person to excel and discover new opportunities. This passion unlocks a powerful creative flow that results in amazing success. And part of this success can be measured in a level of financial benefit that becomes a by-product of the overall effort.

The Blessed Entrepreneur embraces change and fearlessly pursues innovative solutions to problems that are faced. The prospects of change stimulate excitement and a desire to lead the process that enables an orderly transition. There’s no hand wringing about the past – only a positive outlook for the future with an expectation that every day will be even better than the last. This attitude converts to boundless energy that is infectious for all those with whom contact is made.

Finally, the Blessed Entrepreneur lives a life of service to others. He or she is always looking for ways to offer a helping hand without quid pro quo. There is no need or anticipation for accolades and recognition. The Blessed Entrepreneur has an innate ability to spot those who need assistance whether it be a colleague, a friend, a family member or even a stranger. This giving of one’s self may be small in nature or significant – it matters not.

Blessed Entrepreneurs lead complete and satisfying lives. They are committed to their aspirations which becomes inspirational for the rest of us.

This blog is being written in tandem with my book, “An Entrepreneur’s Words to Live By,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle (My Book), as well as being available in all of the other major eBook formats.